Some of us Freepers explored this topic a while back - the choice is not between being a jerk and being nice. If you limit yourself to that paradigm, you won't ever find an approach that both works for you and doesn't compromise yourself.
Your view is immature - nobody is suggesting you be a jerk. It's just that clearly what is colloquially called 'being nice' produces underwhelming results. IF you look at it as an 'either/or' situation, you won't do well.
For a variety of reasons, women (rightfully) don't like what is commonly called a 'nice' guy because he has divorced himself from his sexual identity. When a male goes out of his way to be 'nice,' he compromises his sexual identity.
That undermines his sex appeal. A woman just won't get excited in a sexual way by a guy who isn't very sexually appealing. That's exactly how it should be - guys who are too nice are consistently rejected by most women because, when compared to their more unambiguously male counterparts, they are recognized as inferior.
That is a classic circular statement. If she is attracted to him, then he is sexually appealing.
That's exactly how it should be - guys who are too nice are consistently rejected by most women because, when compared to their more unambiguously male counterparts, they are recognized as inferior.
There is nothing inferior about being nice. And women have as varied preferences in men as men have in women.
Some women are attracted to nice men, some are attracted to brutes.
The only relevant question is are you the kind of guy who wants to attract the kind of women who prefer brutes or nice guys??
But there is nothing inferior about nice guys; quite the opposite infact.