Let me see if I understand you. If she tells me I'm a disrespectful a$$hole, that's a compliment. But, if she tells me I'm nice, I've just been insulted? No wonder I'm still single.
Actually no, I never said that nor suggested it.
You need to break out of the 'nice guy' vs 'jerk' paradigm. It's not simply a choice of being either.
The nice guy, traditionally strips himself of his sexual identity to the point that he loses his sexual appeal.
The jerk exagerates his sexual identity (unintentionally) and many women confuse that with otherwise desirebale traits and accept his sex appeal.
Extended romantic relationships with either will frustrate women, on balance. The nice guy has no balls, the jerk's balls are too big.
Find a different way is my advice.