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Get something that will knock someone down. At 9mm doesn't cut it. Get a .45 ACP.

If someone can manage the size and recoil of a .45 auto, it does have better stopping power than a 9mm. But even a .32, if one can control it, will be better than a .45 which one can't control or that gets left on the dresser at home.

I've got a Colt series 80, .45 ACP. My wife shoots it...my 14 year old son shoots it....my 11 year old daughter shoots it....and my 10 year old son shoots it. The kids have been shooting it for three years now, so they were MUCH smaller when they started.

I installed a shock buffer in it which makes it give just a little less recoil. It's just a little plastic ring that cushions the slide from the frame when the weapon recoils out of battery. I think it also helps that I put a 22lb recoil spring in it. This can also be done at the kitchen table with no tools....LITERALLY.

Also...for another $300.00 you can get a "kit" that permits the weapon to fire .22RF cartridges. Kimber and Ceiner make these kits.

However...after having said all that about the .45 ACP (because I'm a great fan of it!) I still recommend new shooters to go buy a quality .357 magnum revolver. The reason for this is because most people who want to learn to shoot, want to learn for self defense reasons. Not many people want to buy one weapon to learn on (such as a good .22RF pistol), and then go buy something bigger when they feel they're "ready". With a .357, you can shoot regular ole .38 special ammo out of it to practice. Recoil is VERY mild. Then once you feel better about using the weapon, practice using .357 ammo. If you're not comfy with that, just keep .38 spcl ammo in it. Also, most good .357 revolvers are double action, and therefore much, MUCH safer than semi-autos such as the Colt 1911. There are double action semi-autos as well. But having said that, there's one thing a revolver will rarely (if EVER) do....JAM.

BTW....my 10 year old shoots .38 spcl, and .357 magnum too. So I doubt you'll have any problem with it. :-)

Knock-down is a MYTH.
The 45 has a bigger bullet and you can't argue with the bigger hole, but the the one-shot stop percentage is only 5% greater than that of the 9mm and bullet design has narrowed the gap even more.

A small, concealable and CONTROLLABLE 9mm is preferable to the big honking .45 left at home.