Well, the Preacher, he went out walkin'
'Twas on a Sunday morn.
Of course, was again' his religion,
But he took his gun along.
He shot himself some mighty fine quail
And one little measly hare.
And on his way returnin' home he met
A great big grizzly bear.
The bear sat down in the middle of the road
As mean as he could be.
The Preacher, he started shakin'
And he climbed up a cinnamon tree.
The bear stood up and he rolled his eyes
And he shook his ugly head.
The Preacher looked up to the skies
And these were the words he said.
Refrain:
Oh, Lord, You delivered Daniel from the lion's den.
Delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale and then,
The Hebrew Children from the fiery furnace
So the Good Book do declare.
Well, Lord, Lord, if you can't help me.
For goodness sake don't you help that bear.!
The bear began to climb the tree
And that made the Preacher sore.
The Preacher, he climbed up higher
'Till he couldn't climb no more.
Just about then that limb gave 'way
And they both came a tumblin' down.
And when the Preacher began to pray
You could hear him from miles around.
Repeat Refrain
Well, they fought all the way down to the river
And it was a terrible sight!
The bear was really layin' it out
but the Preacher, he was doin' all right.
He dragged that beast right into the water
It was three times, in and out.
The bear got up and he limped away
And the Preacher began to shout.
Oh, Lord, You delivered Daniel from the lion's den.
Delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale and then ...
Now, Lord, it may not seem like much
From where you sit up there.
But the hardest job I ever done was
Baptizin' that bear.
Shalom.
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation,
smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his material wealth. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The chief nodded In agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex."
Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man
dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
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