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To: prairiebreeze; All

21 Jan 2005 | By AIDEN LOUIS


FROM EVE TO JEZEBEL . . . SEXIEST WOMEN IN THE BIBLE!


By AIDEN LOUIS

Here's a secret reason so many men read The Holy Bible from cover to cover -- its pages are packed with sexy babes!

"If the Bible came with pictures, every guy would run out and pick up a copy today," says Dr. Jonah Watkins, Professor of Divinity at St. Aloysius School of Scriptures in Darwin, Australia.

"Women who lived before and during Jesus' time on earth were full and curvaceous with huge bosoms and even bigger sexual appetites. More often than not they were lusty, wild and wicked."

Here are Watkins' top four Biblical Pinup Girls:
EVE -- The first woman on earth, set down by God into the Garden of Eden with hubby Adam. "In Genesis 2:25, it says, 'And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed,' " says Watkins. "So Eve strutted her bodacious bod around paradise in her birthday suit. Of course Adam was happy as hell. Wouldn't you be?"

DELILAH -- "This lady was a hot mama who liked to slather on the makeup like a hooker," says Watkins. "She was also a first-class b@#%& who betrayed the man who loved her without blinking an eye." The story goes like this: Bible strongman Samson falls head over heels for Delilah. The Philistines make a deal with her. "Entice him and find out where his great strength lies and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver." No problem. She nags him until he tells her. She reports back, gets her cut, and Samson is captured. The Philistines put out his eyes and make him perform stupid tricks like a monkey. "All in a day's work for a Bible babe," says the professor.

THE QUEEN OF SHEBA -- "Another Bible babe who thought she was really hot stuff," says Watkins. "She was Arabian royalty. She heard that King Solomon was wise, but didn't believe it so she made up a sheet of test questions to make him look stupid. She was the one who ended up looking like an idiot because of course because Solomon really did know everything. He made himself a nice temple with lots of gold and riches. After that, he just sat on his throne and everyone who wanted an answer came to him and brought him gifts. The Queen fled the country with egg on her face."

JEZEBEL -- "This nasty piece of baggage married Ahab, King of Israel," says Watkins. "Ahab wanted a vineyard and when the guy wouldn't give it to him Jezebel wrote off a couple letters and signed her husband's name. The notes urged her friends to trick the people into thinking the vineyard owner was a blasphemer of God and stone him to death. They did. Later, God got her back. He told eunuchs to throw her body out the second floor window. Dogs ate her flesh, leaving only her skull and feet and the palms of her hands. She got hers."

SALOME -- "This scheming babe knew her stepfather had the hots for her, and she took full advantage," Watkins says. "When he offered her whatever she wanted to do a dirty little dance for him, she demanded the head of her enemy -- John the Baptist -- on a silver platter! Ouch."


249 posted on 01/21/2005 6:55:48 PM PST by lodwick (Integrity has no need of rules. Albert Camus)
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To: lodwick

Ouch is right, LOL.


265 posted on 01/22/2005 3:22:56 AM PST by prairiebreeze (George W Bush: Spending well-earned political capital.)
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