The Koror Tribe: Caryn, Gregg, Ian, Janu, Jennifer, Katie, Stephenie, Tom
The Jury: Coby
The Losers: Jonathan, Wanda, Jolanda, Ashlee, Jeff, Kim, Willard, Angie, James, Ibrehem, Bobby Jon,
The show opens with Ulong arriving back at camp from Tribal Council as usual.
Well, wait a minute. Not really as “Usual” because after 8 consecutive Immunity Challenge losses, the Ulong tribe now consists of one sole survivor. Stephenie. Who is sad, excited, scared, unsure, a fighter, a whiner, a crier, and a poor gatherer of fish, food, coconuts, etc.etc.etc.
In other words, still being a drop dead gorgeous blond after 22 days on the island is about all she has going for her at this point.
The next morning, over at Koror, Ian is telling us which are the top two candidates for getting the boot when they go to Tribal Council next. He does this by calling Janu the “dysfunctional aunt in the attic” and Coby “the pouter” of the tribe.
The producers must be getting hard up for action shots, because we are then subjected to watching Coby wash Caryn’s hair while he bellyaches about the tribe.
Meanwhile, over at Ulong, Stephenie has yet another day all alone, trying to fish with no luck. Trying to knock coconuts out of trees, with no luck. And finally, she shinnies up a tree and manages to gather one coconut as her dinner. She cries and slinks back to the cave to wallow in self pity, saying if she wins, it’ll all be worth it.
The next day, Steph retrieves tree mail. In it, is a container that says “Do not open. Give to Koror tribe.” The tree mail also contains the following poem that she can barely get through without breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably.
Dirty, hungry and all alone;
This is no way to be.
Pack your canoe with all you want,
And paddle out to sea.
The lone Ulong Survivor.
You’re the only to endure.
The next phase of your adventure,
Starts with a trip to Koror.
She then exclaims to her personnal cameraman (since there is no one else around to hear her) “It’s a merge. I’m going to have friends!...and food.” She packs up and heads out to sea on a new adventure.
Cut to commercial.
At Koror, everyone is lazing about doing nothing. If fact, it seems as if they are just waiting for someone to show up when SHAZAM! Who should just walk up the beach, but Stephenie. They all jump up in mock surprise to welcome her with open arms. She shows them the container and Gregg opens it and reads the following:
Ulong has been conquered
So enjoy the spoils of war
The blue buff gets retired
And one more joins Koror
In honor of your victory
You deserve some help at least
Visitors will be arriving shortly
But you’ll have to work
To get a feast
Hey, nobody said these poems had to be good, they just have to relay the information that the producers want to relay.
Gregg hands a new clean brown Buff to Stephenie and she is once again welcomed with open arms and escorted around the camp. Meanwhile, Coby (yet again auditioning for the lead in “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”) starts mincing about how everybody is “just instantly kissing Steph’s butt.” But he’s going to thwart all their plans by telling Steph “everything he knows.” Oh yeah! That’s really going to spoil their plans.
Next, two native Palauans are seen paddling to shore and say they’re going to show everyone how to fish. They proceed to teach Coby, Gregg, Ian, and Tom how to catch smaller fish to use as bait. The Palauans then say they’re going to show people how to fish. Coby attempts to assert his authority and announces that he and Ian will stay and catch bait while Gregg and Tom go with the Palauans to catch fish. Tom however, informs Coby that he thinks Ian deserves to learn how to fish. Therefore Ian will accompany Gregg and himself to go fishing. Coby whines that he’s being excluded yet again, and flounces off in a huff. Ian tries to smooth over Coby’s ruffled feathers, and Tom starts to explain to the women how to catch bait. Coby pitches a fit worthy of the drama queen he is and proclaims that bait is “HIS” job and for Tom to just go catch some fish.
We are treated to Tom, Ian, and Gregg with the two Palauans, out floating on the water, hauling in fish after fish. Actually, it looks as if, of the three, Tom and Ian are catching the fish while Gregg looks on in amazement.
The boat arrives back at camp, loaded down with fish and even a lobster. Yep, Koror’s gonna have a heck of a fish fry tonight. As if to punctuate the point, the Palauans break out the rum and pass the bottle around. They pour the rum into coconuts and the tribe partakes in what I call a “poor man’s Pina-Colada.” All except for Tom who is chugging the rum straight from the bottle. Needless to say, he is soon falling down drunk and is going to wake up with a big head in the morning.
The next day, who is the first one up and out trying to catch some bait? Yep, Tom! Which goes to show, even though he gets falling down drunk, he’s still better than most of them. Particularly Coby, who can do nothing but continue to badmouth Tom and the rest of the Koror Klan. Man! I’ll be glad when he’s gone!
We are then treated to even more of Coby’s sniping in the form of “him letting Steph know all about the rest of the tribe.” Of course, as soon as Steph can get away from the drama queen, she immediately goes and tells Katie, Jenn and Caryn what she has learned from Coby. She then informs Tom what Coby said, after which Tom informs Steph about her being a part of the Tom, Ian, Kate and Steph final four. Of course he can’t tell her the “order of the vote” but that she is part of their final four plans and that she has friends here at Koror. Steph then comments to the camera about how everybody is lying to me, I don’t know who I can trust. Etc.etc.etc.”
We come back from commercial break to find the tribe has gathered for their first individual Immunity Challenge. The old, “How long can you stand on a small round platform challenge.” The last player standing wins immunity. Players ready, GO!
Jeff immediately starts in with the taunting jabs, asking Tom about voting off Steph to keep Koror together. Tom concedes that some might see it like that. And, since Coby still hasn’t learned to keep his big trap shut, he spouts off by telling Tom/Jeff “don’t kid yourself, this is a game and everyone wants Steph on their side.” Eyes roll around the tribe at this comment.
Through the magic of television, an hour passes in the blink of an eye. Everybody is still standing, so Jeff pulls out donuts. The deal is anyone who jumps off and quits will get two donuts. Bub-Bye Coby and Janu.
Blink! Another thirty minutes go by as the remaining survivors discuss what they would jump for. Jenn says a chocolate sundae while Caryn says peanut butter. Ian chimes in with an “I’d get naked for chocolate and peanut butter.” While Jeff shoots back that “No one wants to see that!”
Blink! Another hour goes by. We are now 2 ½ hours into the challenge as Jeff offers 15 chocolate chip cookies and a glass of mile for anyone who quits in the next fifteen seconds. Say good-bye to Gregg, Ian, Jenn, and Katie!
Blink! Another half hour gone. Three hours into the challenge with only Tom, Steph and Caryn remaining. That is until Jeff brings out a platter covered with a towel. “Once I reveal what’s under this towel, the players will have five seconds to jump in the water and quit. If nobody jumps, the players already eliminated will get it” On the count of three, he lifts the towel to reveal a Pizza. Kersplash, in goes both Steph and Caryn. Tom! Good Ol’ Hung Over Tom wins the first individual Immunity. By the way, as soon as Steph and Caryn are finished with their pizza (No Sharing Now!) we will immediately be heading to Tribal Council.
Back from yet another commercial break. Jeff welcomes Koror to Tribal Council. Something they have only experienced once before. We have the typical blah, blah, blah stuff. It’s time to vote.
Here are the comments each member made while voting. You don’t actually see this on TV, but they are taken from the SeeBS website videos.
Tom (Votes Coby): You’re a good guy, but you’re feeling a little cornered and you’re playing real hard, and that makes you dangerous.
Katie (Votes Coby): You just talk too much. And that’s not precious.
Ian (Votes Coby): Buddy, it’s like being in the Mafia. It’s business, not pleasure. And it’s just your turn to get whacked. You’re bad for business.
Jenn (Votes Coby): Coby, Coby, I just - I love you sweetie. We’re going to miss you at camp. But I just can’t trust all the flip-flopping. I don’t know what you’ve been doing lately, but it’s a bummer. We hate to see you go. But that’s the way it’s gotta be.
Coby (Votes Janu): I’m only placing this vote for you because you asked me to. And one of us has to stay in the game to throw in the chicken leg.
Caryn (Votes Coby): Coby, I think your mistake was trying to build alliances without first trying to build friendships. I’m sorry.
Gregg (Votes Coby): Coby, a little too much too soon. If you had a little more patience I think we could have worked out a good plan together. Sorry bud.
Stephenie (Votes Coby): Coby, I’m just going with the strategic vote right now, trying to do what’s right for me to get me as far as I can in this game. You did an awesome job. Good luck in the future. Can’t wait to see you. Bye.
Janu (Votes Stephanie): Stephenie, you’re a strong woman and a true survivor, and the only reason why I’m putting your name here is because the Koror tribe had decided it’d like that before you came in. So I’m just following their wishes. Good luck.
Jeff goes and tallies up the votes and returns. To his credit, he tries to impart some suspense while reading the votes but, with 7 of the 9 votes for Coby, he can only do so much.
Coby gets up. Janu looks shocked. Coby says it was a good game and walks over to Jeff. Jeff snuffs his torch and he turns around and says, “That was a great compliment. Thank you.” He still hasn’t learned when to keep his trap shut!
Is it just me or are these parting shots getter longer and longer?
Coby’s Final Words
Well, this was a total surprise. Good one, you guys! Gosh, I don’t even know where to start. I wish I could be bitter and mad and twisted, but I’m not. You’re all so smart, you’re hard players. You did a good job. I always knew that I came here for the life experience. I’ve had so much.
I knew I wasn’t here for the million dollars, so it’s not a big deal. I wish I could have played a little longer, but I’m totally satisfied with all the experience I got. I hope Janu and Stephenie work your way into the tribe, throw that chicken bone, mix up that blender, and take that whole tribe over.
What a total complement that you got rid of me because I was a threat. You didn’t get rid of me because I was lazy. You didn’t get rid of me because I wasn’t good in challenges. Every single one of you said you got rid of me because I was a threat. That means a lot (gets choked up).
It isn’t about the million dollar doughnut. It’s about how you play the game up until the doughnut. The doughnuts did not lose the game. I lost the game because it’s a popularity contest, and quite honestly, I’m not good at being popular. People like me, but I’m not good at kissing up, sucking up to other people.
In hindsight I have absolutely no regrets. I played the game 100%. I went to every challenge and fought as hard as I could. I played the whole game too hard, which is why they saw me as a threat, but I don’t care. This is my experience. That’s what I wanted. Money you can spend, but experience you can have forever. I was here for the experience and not the money, so no regrets. None.
A lot of people out here want to appreciate food and home and their jobs, but I definitely appreciate my family (gets choked up) and I’m going to treat my friends and family a lot better.
And I’m actually glad I got out of the game when I did because it’s gonna get ugly. Me and my sassy talk - I’m so cutsy-poo and sassy but quite honestly it wasn’t bringing out the best side of me. So I’ll leave the ugly side to the people who are still there to play the game. Now I get to watch, sit on the sidelines, and watch them self-destruct.
I feel much healthier on this side, actually. I’d rather watch them destroy themselves than watch me destroy.
I actually think the tribe really knows me well. They all – that’s what’s so funny – they all thought I was lying to them the whole time and they all that thought I was covering up all these schemes and secrets. I was actually really honest to my tribe like the whole time I’ve been out here. I told – that’s the problem. Nobody knew where to put me. They never knew which alliance to stick me with because I told everybody everything and told them how I felt all the time.
But that’s why I was here. I wasn’t here to cover things up. I gave myself an “act any way you want” card when I did this game, and I did. So that’s why I have no regrets. It was fun. It was a good time.
The game is much more childish (laughs) and ugly than I thought. It’s a pretty ugly game. The whole point is that you go around talking about people and stabbing them in the back and who can you trick and see if all the popular kids can sit together and make jokes about the unpopular kids. It really is just like high school. Actually, I think it is a little more like junior high. And I just wasn’t good at that part.
As a group, I wasn’t good at kissing up. You know, when we’d go to bed and everybody would laugh and giggle and tell their jokes and they’d tell the same jokes over and over and over, and then I’d have to hear the same recipe three times a day. I just wasn’t as entertained as they were. I couldn’t take it.
But they’re good people. I love them outside the game. But in the game it was – it’s much harder. It’s much harder than I ever thought it would be. And not physical, not the environment – it’s the people. The people were my downfall.
Final words to my tribe? Even though you got on my nerves, God, what a group of wonderful, smart people who did give me the chance to be a part of a team and help push me. You’re very smart to get rid of me. Gosh, you’re smart. So hats off to you.
Take care,
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up,
totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming....
Wow, what a ride!"
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