Where did you get all those Charlie Weaver quotes?
I was laughing so hard, my wife thought I was reading something I ought not to.
They are funny but they're just my picks of the funniest old Hollywood Squares comments, Weaver included. ;-)
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Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
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Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you more likely a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
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Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
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Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
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Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
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Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
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Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
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Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
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Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
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Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
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Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or an elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
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Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
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