Maybe we do, and maybe we don't.
But, please, don't call me Shirley.
Shalom.
Favorite cartoons and Saturday fare: Heckle & Jeckle, Mighty Mouse, Popeye. Saturdays were westerns: Wagon Train, Rifleman, Guns of Will Sonnet, The Virginian, Death Valley Days, Daniel Boone, Have Gun Will Travel, Bonanza, Branded, Gunsmoke, Sky King & loads of others.
The Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her; "Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us; not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"
"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten room mansion, plus a savings account certificate for 200 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you, Daddy, the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)... an invitation for you all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the South of France, and...."
"Now, what was it you said you had become?"
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute, Dad... Sniff, sniff."
"Oh, beJesus - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "a Protestant. Come here and give your old man a hug!"
Happy Friday. I'll be writing a note to myself to never click on your Profile page while I'm at work *giggle*
But what I want to know is: How many years has Gary Condit been married to THAT WOMAN?
By the way - We have not forgotten; Gary Condit's rotten!!
The Difference Between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 9mm and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
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Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
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Conservative Answer:
BANG!
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Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right, Dad, I saw it too..." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
I have a question for ya. I saw that you are a MST3K fan. Have you heard if there's going to be any airings of this show on any channel? I have three tapes full of episodes (PACKERS!!!!) all recorded before SciFi cancelled the show.
I probably already know what the answer is, but it couldn't hurt to ask.
**I love what you've done with your FReeperpage, BTW**