....no she stays home to take care of my son....
So here she was during your three + years of dating, and being with friends, being free, maybe each enjoying the cash from independant jobs, interfacing with people all day long, suddenly she gets pregnant, has a kid.
Now she feels trapped, she can't go out of the house without the kid, she has to ask you for money for anything she needs or wants, you two are probably making ends meet on maybe 60% of what you had during your dating years and early marriage.
So she's crying out for help, to get her out of this miserable existance, and she lashs out at you 'cause you're the only one around to bitch at. She sees that she can get to you as she tears down your self respect, so its working and she re-doubles her effort to get you down.
She needs to find the joy she once had in life. She's got to receive an extra allowance that can be her money to spend on what she wants to, without having to account to you, maybe even have her own bank account so she can feel some independence; you've got to get babysitters so you two can get out of the house, away from the kid, and have some cheap entertainment together - recreate your dating years.
Once you spend time on her, and she reciprocates by seeing you in a different light like she remembered during dating, maybe you two will reconnect.
She knows the word divorce gets to you. Be sure that she knows what that really means, cause it ain't no escape from the unhappy life she feels today. Divorce is hell for her, for the kid, and for you. No-one comes out ahead, and everyone remains poor!
I had two trial marriages, before finally getting lucky for the past 22 years.
The definition of a third marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
I have to agree with this, if you think it applies to your situation. My husband and I had a child within a year of marriage, and it's tough (though I wouldn't change what happened for the world). I thought I would go stir crazy, until a few months ago when hubby started watching the kids for two hours every saturday morning so I could get out and be free. After a month or two, I didn't even take advantage of it much, anymore. It was enough to know I could have it if I wanted it.
Also, a little spending account that she's not allowed to use on you, or the kids, or groceries could go a long way (only if your financially healthy, of course).