I was waiting to hear about AA. Although your post is very open and honest, the majority of people have a hard time staying sober on their own. Please don't discount AA should the time come when you really need it. The power of support cannot be underestimated. Good luck and if anyone out there wonders if they have an alcohol or drug problem, you probably do. People who don't rarely think about if they do.
see posts #251 and #272 for my comments re AA, I agree it is a great program, and a lifesaver for millions...