My sibling and I knew from an early age that we best be quiet until our father passed out in the chair. Even then we were careful not to wake the sleeping giant(as we use to call our dad). He was a great dad when he was sober, but a raging bull when he was drunk.
Thankfully he never got physical abusive, but my Irish mom did. I remember many nights that we were sent in bed early and laid there with our covers over our head because mom and pop were screaming at each other while mom was throwing her china at him.Nice thing about that was at least once a month we had pretty new china to set the table with.
One thing we hope would never happen was he would come home drunk the day we brought out report cards home from school and God forbid you got anything lower than a C cause we knew we would get the belt.
Still 4 out of 5 of us became an alcoholics and the other one a drug addict. Wouldn't you think we would have known better????
You would think we would know better, but sometimes I guess we are determined to learn the hard way. My mom and father divorced when I was very young. I only have one vague memory of him. She remarried soon after to my (step)dad. My father and the divorce was never talked about...it was like he ceased to exist. Don't get me wrong I love my Dad to pieces, but I always had the desire to know my father. One of the only facts that I knew about him was that he drank...but he was jovial when he did...or he'd disappear for days.
When I married my ex, I knew he had a drinking problem. I was just too stupid to realize the ramifications. My (our) daughter was and continues to be the only wonderful thing that happened. I try to be as honest with her as possible, telling her only age appropriate things hoping that she will learn from my mistakes.
I guess I went the other end of the spectrum than my Mom did. She didn't say a word about him being an alcoholic, and I've told my daughter, that too much drinking causes people to have "fuzzy" brains.
I pray that she is strong enough to break the cycle that family members of alcoholics seem destined to make.