Subject: the moral of the story
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.
"Johnny, do you have a story to share?
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Marylou. Aunt Marylou was a
pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over
enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol
and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so it
wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in
the middle of twenty enemy soldiers. She shot fifteen of them with the
gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife,
until the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did
your daddy teach you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Marylou when she's been drinking."
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson