African Tribe Worships Salma Hayek's Breasts! (The Headline I've Waited All My Life For...)

Weekly World News ^ | 12/09/04 | Mark Miller

[ApesForEvolution]

...thanks for the Pepto btw...

[Americanwolf]

Glory be to Selma, may I be naughty in her sight.....


er...something like that... now i must go take a few minutes to compose myself.

[ApesForEvolution]

...if they have the Friday special up down at the local grease-pit, then it's Friday...I'll go down and check.

[TheBigB]

De nada. Ya know, those Lean Cuisine meals are kinda tasty...

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

now i must go take a few minutes to compose myself.

Oh? Is THAT what the kids are all calling it, nowadays...? :)

[monday]

This may be the best thread ever. You should be awarded a medal.

PS. imagine my surprise to discover I am Mandinkian?

[monday]

yes, shame on you..hehe good find dude:^)

[Robert_Paulson2]

breasts have been objects of veneration since the beginning of time. As long as they don't depend on her breasts for their eternal salvation... more power to them...

I wonder, does this make anything related to brazziers, tax deductable? I mean those being an item of worship and all?

[Americanwolf]

Well anything else and I could be banned... :)

[End Times Sentinel]

You know, for a long time, when people asked me if I were homophobic in response to a disparaging comment I'd make, I'd respond: "I'm not scared of homosexuals, they just disgust me."

 

But now I think I'll exchange that for "The idea of Salma Hayek and Kitna Baker sharing love is a very beautiful thing to me..."

Owl_Eagle

"You know, I'm going to start thanking
the woman who cleans the restroom in
the building I work in.  I'm going to start
thinking of her as a human being"

-Hillary Clinton

(Yes, she really said that

Peggy Noonan

The Case Against Hillary Clinton, pg 55)

[Congressman Billybob]

I'm with you. Every now and again the Weekly World News comes up with a story that you hope, against all experience, that it is true. I'm willing to believe, myself.

Congressman Billybob

Click for latest, "Should the Iraqi Election be Delayed?"

[humblegunner]

Oh glorious funbags of Salma, Fertilize our fields, protect us, and bring us luck. Especially we ask for sexual potency from the Life-changing, awe-inspiring twin peaks of Salma. Suckle us with your magical orbs, Squeeze our faces between those luscious flesh mounds, Our strength, hope and joy derive from the wondrous bazongas of Hayek!

Big whoop, I chant the same thing over coffee every morning.

[talleyman]

A Hooters better not open close by or there will be a religious war over mounds of mounds.

"Almond joy's got nuts, ... mounds don't..."

[mhking]

Just damn.

If you want on the list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...

[colorado tanker]

J. Russell Finch: Wait a minute, are you knocking this country? Are you saying something against America?

J. Algernon Hawthorne: Against it? I should be positively astounded to hear anything that could be said FOR it. Why the whole bloody place is the most unspeakable matriarchy in the whole history of civilization! Look at yourself! The way your wife and her strumpet of a mother push you through the hoop! As far as I can see, American men have been totally emasculated- they're like slaves! They die like flies from coronary thrombosis while their women sit under hairdryers eating chocolates & arranging for every 2nd Tuesday to be some sort of Mother's Day! And this infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all time in this Godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all this this preposterous preoccupation with bosoms. Don't you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, appetizing and all fields of entertainment and everything. I'll wager you anything you like that if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.

- It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.

That's not all that would "collapse overnight," if American women ditched their bras en masse tomorrow. :)

[colorado tanker]

LOL! Wasn't it Ann Landers who advocated the "pencil test"? :)

[xJones]

"As a special treat, Chief Tuamanguluka arranged for a movie to be shown here for the first time ever.

Sounds like ol' Tuamagulka bite off more than he could chew.

[xJones]

Sounds like ol' Tuamagulka bite off more than he could chew.

I really butchered that spelling, that's supposed to be Tuamanguluka, for the purists. But 'Tua-man-gu-luka' sounds like a bad joke anyway.:)

[DeepInEnemyTerritory]

WTF?

On a side note Kunta Kinte from "Roots" was a member of the Mandinka tribe. He grew up in the villiage of Juffure.