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FREEPER FAMILY TABLE--Come on in! Throw a chair!
me | December 3, 2004 | grellis

Posted on 12/03/2004 7:01:43 AM PST by grellis

First, I'd like to ask all of you to say a prayer for one of our moms, backinthefold, whose son broke two foot bones recently. Can we have an update, BITF?

Next...well, I'm not sure where to begin. Earlier this week a thread was run, "A Paradigm Shift in Parenting" (sorry folks, I've forgotten the html for links) in which many of the FFT parents posted comments. The discussion among FReepers on the thread began as a look at the economics of parenting, a topic which we have discussed a number of times in the past. What the discussion turned into was just ugly, on many different levels. A few of the prevailing attitudes seemed to be "I am a stay at home mom so I'm a better parent than you are;" "I homeschool my kids so I'm a better parent than you are;" "I live in an afforable community so I'm a better parent than you are"...one complete (insert expletive here) even had the raw nerve to refer to the adoptive parents of foreign-born children as traitors to America.

What goes on here? Do we realize how hurtful some of our comments are going to be before we post them and have at it anyway, or is it just that we don't think about it? Do we make an effort to try to understand someone's situation before we pass our judgement upon them? Which begs the obvious question: Who are we to judge? I freely admit that I have done this in the past. When a poster gripes about the high cost of living in their community, my first thought is "So move!" Yet, recently, when I had occasion to gripe about the slumlords in my own community, I took great offense when I was told--you guessed it--"So move!" Is there some way that we can be more supportive of the choices of other parents? If that is not possible, could we at least try to be a little more constructive in our criticism?

Is this going to be the first FFT thread in which comments are removed by the mods??!


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: blessyourbowels; children; dads; families; molassesmiasma; moms
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To: Gabz

I have told my boys for years, that cooking is chemistry.


41 posted on 12/03/2004 9:08:56 AM PST by annyokie (If the shoe fits, put 'em both on!)
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To: Gabz

"Nice them to death" is a phrase we use to describe what our office manager does. We often have to call our vendors and get invoices early and she has to call and call and call and she rarely gets angry. She just nicely drives them insane until they give her what she wants! LOL!!!


42 posted on 12/03/2004 9:10:06 AM PST by StarCMC (It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden; it's our job to arrange the meeting.)
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To: netmilsmom

Now if we could just teach her to tell time..........That's the current project. I have turned off all digital clocks (except the timer on the stove) and we only rely on regular clocks for that purpose and we don't use digital watches either.

She has recently mastered shoelaces.......she learned to tie all kinds of boat knots over the summer at various functions attended by the Coast Guard - but couldn't get the knack of shoes.......now she doesn't need mommy to do it anymore...sigh.


43 posted on 12/03/2004 9:12:23 AM PST by Gabz
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To: All

Hi Everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that my daughter was born Wednesday November 24th at 9:07 P.M. after 16 hours of labor. Her name is Marlowe(after my husbands Grandmother) Van(after my Grandmother) She is beautiful!

She weighed 8lbs 10ozs and was 20 3/4 long.

Because she was so big she suffered a brachial plexus injury to her left arm. We are optimistic that she will gain full use of her arm by 6 months of age. If not we will have to find a surgeon to help her along.

Any prayers from you nice ladies would be appreciated.

I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

I was in the hospital most of last week because I was toxic but I did read the thread and I am going to try soaking my pecans in schnapps for my Christmas pie! (Thats if Marlowe allows me to make a pie!)


44 posted on 12/03/2004 9:13:31 AM PST by DUDLEY
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To: Gabz

My little one can't tell the difference between 2's and 5's on digital clocks!
Before this she would say it is S o'clock.


45 posted on 12/03/2004 9:17:56 AM PST by netmilsmom (Zell on DEM Christianity, "They can hum the tune, but can't sing the song.")
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To: annyokie

I've threatened hubby with bodily harm each time he mentions a chemistry set........

One of her spelling words this week was "hail" and wanted to use it in one her homework sentences last night. She asked me what was hail and I answered "frozen rain." She proceeded to correct me and informed me that snow was frozen rain and started in on this whole elaborate thing about water vapor and cold air and forming crystals...........sheesh, she 6, for pete's sake!!!


Speaking of hubby, he just finished his lunch.....so I expect him to start pacing to leave momentarily. Will catch all you good folks when I get back.


46 posted on 12/03/2004 9:19:33 AM PST by Gabz
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To: DUDLEY

Congrats!!!!

Give her a kiss from her FReeper Aunt and her FReeper cousins! Pictures, please!!!!!

(I want some of those pecans! *hic*)


47 posted on 12/03/2004 9:20:23 AM PST by netmilsmom (Zell on DEM Christianity, "They can hum the tune, but can't sing the song.")
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To: netmilsmom

Thanks!

One of the ladies on last weeks thread mentioned that her husband soaks his pecans in butterscotch schnapps before making his pie. I can not remember who...Grellis may know.


48 posted on 12/03/2004 9:23:18 AM PST by DUDLEY
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To: DUDLEY

Wonderful news!!!!

Congratulations............can't wait to see pictures.


49 posted on 12/03/2004 9:25:23 AM PST by Gabz
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To: Gabz

Gabz, I think you more than hold your own in regard to your choice to not homeschool. As a matter of fact, you and I were in an overnight debate a while back with a couple of knuckle-heads who couldn't understand that it is to each their own when it comes to educational choices.

I actually found myself knee deep in doo-doo this morning trying to express this opinion to some fellow Baptists, who just couldn't understand that each family has to do what is right for their circumstance.

I pinged you on that one, simply because you can express your choice so much more clearly than I was able to.


50 posted on 12/03/2004 9:47:52 AM PST by borntobeagle (Christians are not anti-sinners, Christians are anti-sin)
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To: grellis; All

I had a run in with a very, very rude person earlier this week. Mind you, this was a topic about the National Christmas Tree.

This woman picked bits of my statements to use against me and said I knew nothing and I was hostile for using all caps to spell Christmas and Christ. I used CHRIST and CHRISTMAS in joy and celebration!

I became so upset that I straight out told her I thought she was rude and bossy. And although quite a few people expressed the same sentiments to her, I regret doing that. I may have hurt her feelings.

But, I really do not appreciate people using 3 words out of an entire paragraph to beat me over the head.

I need to learn the walk away method someone mentioned earlier.


51 posted on 12/03/2004 9:54:50 AM PST by borntobeagle (Christians are not anti-sinners, Christians are anti-sin)
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To: grellis

First, I'd like to ask all of you to say a prayer for one of our moms, backinthefold, whose son broke two foot bones recently. Can we have an update, BITF?

Well, the orthopedist is going to wait 3 weeks to see if the bones will heal on their own. If not, off to surgery. He did not want to manipulate the dislocation back and cause son to have more pain. It's in a good position to heal on its own.

I will admit, I am a bad parent. One of the rules in the house is "No blood, No foul" so son thought that since his foot had no blood, he was unhurt.

I try to stay out of discussions like that thread. I saw it, and saw some of the comments, and just went away. I want no one to judge me on my parenting skills, and I will not pass judgement on others. "Judge not, let ye be judged" are words to live by.


52 posted on 12/03/2004 9:56:40 AM PST by backinthefold ( Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?)
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To: grellis

I've been both - a stayathome homeschooling mom, and a working-send-the-kids-to-public-school-and-daycare mom. I home schooled long enough to get my son over hating school (as he did by the end of second grade); and my daughter a good start. A business failure made it necessary for me to go back to work, and my effectiveness as their teacher was diminishing. (Long story, suffice it to say, both my children were and still are way smarter than their mother!)

At a mother/daughter banquet when my daughter was about 13, the speaker went on and on about the failures of working moms to "be there" for their kids. My daughter leaned over and said, "You're always there for us, Mom. Don't pay any attention to her." We have to try to do the right thing for OUR family, not what others tell us is right. (I didn't go to another mother/daughter banquet for several years.)


53 posted on 12/03/2004 10:19:04 AM PST by knittnmom
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To: Tax-chick

LOL! I have Crohn's Disease - I'll gladly take your second blessing!!


54 posted on 12/03/2004 10:20:42 AM PST by knittnmom
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To: DUDLEY

Congratulations! May your baby grow up to be strong, intelligent, loving, and kind!

And butterscotch schnapps works great!


55 posted on 12/03/2004 10:26:28 AM PST by knittnmom
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To: DUDLEY

My husband soaks the pecans in butterscotch schnapps. The last batch got pushed to the back of the fridge, so they were soaking for almost a year! It brought out the nutty flavor, rather than the alcohol flavor. Really, really goood pie!


56 posted on 12/03/2004 10:28:54 AM PST by knittnmom
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To: DUDLEY

Congratulations to you!! :)


57 posted on 12/03/2004 10:38:17 AM PST by BizzeeMom ("We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Bl. Teresa of Calcutta)
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To: grellis; Tax-chick

TC, thanks for the link to the other thread.

I hope no one takes offense, because I certainly don't mean it that way. I have found the biggest bigots on FR are the holier-than-thou religious types. The rad-trad (thanks for that term, C!) are the absolute worse. I have seen them totally demolish some female posters with their my-way-or-the-highway attitude. I truly pity their families and their wives in particular.


Early Merry Christmas, all!


58 posted on 12/03/2004 10:44:30 AM PST by annyokie (If the shoe fits, put 'em both on!)
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To: grellis; All

I'm a SAHM and have homeschooled our oldest, and we are very happy this way. But I am a homebody and it suits me.

Our school-age children go to our parish school, basically by choice, neither of them had any interest in homeschooling AT ALL. For the oldest, homeschooling was almost a necessity, her personality being what it is.

There are so many variables among children and families, and I would be the first to tell people, homeschooling is not for everyone.

I don't know why certain types of threads get so heated...the aforementioned thread wound up way off track and having very little to do with the original discussion!


59 posted on 12/03/2004 10:50:38 AM PST by BizzeeMom ("We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Bl. Teresa of Calcutta)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
We are all doing our best to provide what we can for our kids and get thru the day.

Exactly! Why is that so difficult for some posters to understand?

I agree 100% with you on abortion--its my absolute. On that topic, I give no quarter--ever.

60 posted on 12/03/2004 11:18:00 AM PST by grellis ("I went to a Basketball game and a Music Awards Ceremony broke out"--discipler)
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