Sexier Posterior Evolves Almost Overnight

tHE nEW yORK tIMES ^ | November 30, 2004 | CARL ZIMMER

[presidio9]

Male barn swallows' tails are getting longer. Females like the trait.

[AppyPappy]

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's wet, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waste is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]

[NeoCaveman]

Is that an African swallow or a European swallow (/monty python)

[Mamzelle]

Evolves? I guess every time a trait is selected out by a dog breeder or other breeder of livestock, that's evolution?

[Fierce Allegiance]

[billorites]

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other birdies can't deny
That when a bird flies in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna fly up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed

[presidio9]

Mix a lot ping

[Petronski]

Dear Playboy,

I don't normally write letters like this (being just a lowly barn swallow), but you won't believe what I've evolved almost overnight...

[TheBigB]

Always a good day for a booty thread. ;-)

[presidio9]

[jayef]

Looks kinda mannish in the face.

[docbnj]

Oh no! The tails of male swallows are becoming longer! Sexier birds are filling the skies, due to global warming, and it's all Bush's fault for not going along with the Kyoto Treaty!

[Fierce Allegiance]

Face? Didn't notice.

[martin_fierro]

Worst. Tattoo. Ever.

[Rebelbase]

I've never been a fan of latex. Until now.

[sierrahome]

My "new" posterior evolved over 3 new flavors of Breyers Ice Cream and from the Peanut Butter Moo from Jamba Juice. Thanks to the upcoming holidays I foresee a whole new posterior on the horizon...and it ain't gonna be pretty.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Daaaaaaaaang!

[Fraulein]

LOL!

[Verginius Rufus]

How can this be from The New York Times? There's nothing in there about how this is all because of Bush's failure to support the Kyoto protocols.

[mikegi]