Sign in Window
"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE
SINGLE AMERICAN"
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in
Philadelphia. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an
inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups
from all across the country would be marching on this business . . . and
that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds
back.
But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the
proprietors simply make their statement . . We are a society which holds
Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty . And after all, it is
just a sign.
You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign?
Answer: A Funeral Home
Who said morticians had no sense of humor?
You gotta love it!!!
God Bless America!
How 'bout a Friday joke...
A MAN IS LYING IN BED IN THE HOSPITAL WITH AN
OXYGEN MASK OVER HIS MOUTH...
A YOUNG NURSE APPEARS TO SPONGE HIS HANDS AND
FEET "NURSE", HE MUMBLES FROM BEHIND THE MASK,
"ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?"
EMBARRASSED, THE YOUNG NURSE REPLIES,
"I DON'T KNOW, I'M ONLY HERE TO WASH
YOUR HANDS AND FEET"
HE STRUGGLES AGAIN TO ASK, NURSE,
"ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?"
FINALLY, SHE PULLS BACK THE COVERS,
RAISES HIS GOWN, HOLDS HIS PRIVATES IN ONE
HAND AND HIS TESTICLES IN HER OTHER HAND AND
TAKES A CLOSE LOOK AND SAY'S, "THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH THEM!"
FINALLY, THE MAN PULLS OFF HIS OXYGEN
MASK AND REPLIES,
"THAT WAS VERY NICE BUT, ARE --MY--TEST--RESULTS--BACK?"
Have a nice weekend.
I farted again.
J-Lo's bum holds up advert
Filming for a TV advert was reportedly held up - because J-Lo's bum was too big for her skimpy outfit.
The singer failed to squeeze into her sexy black leather costume for the new £11m Pepsi commercial, reports the Daily Star.
Frantic staff had to stitch an extra piece of leather onto the outfit to cover the star's curvy bottom, according to the paper.
A set insider said: "It was quite comical, really. There were all these people ready to get on with the work when we realised there was a problem.
"Basically J-Lo's num was just too curvy for the outfit."
Beyonce Knowles and David Beckham also feature in the mega-budget advert.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1181898.html?menu=
http://www.nick.com/all_nick/movies/spongebob/
Todays the day.
Ontogeny recapitulates Phylogeny.
He climbs down the stairs, carrying two huge pigs, one under each arm. He gets to the bottom, and nods his head in return to the soldier's salute. "Son, what do you think about these?" he says.
"Nice pigs, SIR!" comes the reply.
Clinton gets mildly miffed and lectures, "I'll have you know these aren't just pigs but the finest of Arkansas Razorbacks. Top notch. I got one for Hillary, and one for Chelsea. What do you think about that?"
"Nice trade, SIR!
Over here!
Are you logged in?
What's all this, then?!
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant, my friend, why
do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the
pretty forest. You'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them,
looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with
the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to
shoot up."Lion, my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come
running with us through the sunny forest. You will feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle and starts to beat the heck out of the
little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him
and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"
The lion answers, "That little jerk makes me run around the forest like an
idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"