HMM. It has been awhile but I refused to allow corporal punishment for one of my sons for something outrageous he did. The principal called and asked me if he could give him 3 pops. I told him no and he asked me why. I replied that all he was going to do was make him mad and I was on my way up there because I wanted to do it myself. When I got there the principal assured me that, that was ok and that they had worked things out:')
LOL, that actually sounds like something I might do!!!
I think the key to not losing my mind with all this crazy stuff is being fair both ways. If my children are wrong they know I will come down hard on them and the officials know I won't back them up if they are being childish & unfair. I think my children learned to get along at school without too much craziness just because they knew I would come down on them if they were in the wrong.
My youngest does not like school and it has been a trial to get her to keep up. One day when she was in 2nd grade she decided to just refuse to do her assigned work. Her teacher called me and I asked to talk to my daughter. I told her to apologize to the teacher for being disrespectful and disrupting the class. I also told her to get right to work or I would come to the school and paddle her. We also had another "discussion" about the problem that afternoon when she got home. She is in high school now and I have never had another call from a teacher about a problem with her.
There are some truly great teachers and even a few ok admin. types- but some are really a$$e$ who abuse their authority. Of course some parents are really over the top too. Just like everything else, a few make it hard for everyone.