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Ebay Listing Tells Familiar Tale of Male Discontent:Caution: Purient and Motorcycle Content
ebay ^ | 10/13/04

Posted on 10/13/2004 9:26:18 AM PDT by woofie

This ebay listing is posted as written:

This Helmet is like brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to small for her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from the beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding since i was 9 years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love Motorcycles, they're great!" Now, i'm thinking to myself, this chicks cool, she's hot, has big boobs, and loves motorcycles. I gotta snag this one up quick.Little did i know that as soon as i gave her the engagement ring, all that would change. First, it was a subtle hint, you know, that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that that band costs just as much as my motorcycle. With all these wedding plans going on, i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm schleping all over the state looking at reception halls, listening to cheesy wedding bands, and picking out floral arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't ridden my bike in a while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of her sight for more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it. Now, that brings a whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm like no way! Then i notice that our sex life has reduced dramatically. A man has gotta do, what he's gotta do, so, i sell the bike, thinking that things will get better. She promises me, that as soon as we get married, she'll get a good job, and then i can get another bike. We get married, and we're having sex everyday. Life is good. The Evil One is looking for work for like, 6 months. I find it hard to believe that she can't find a damn job, but who am i to say? She's just holding out for that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i really don't care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then the kicker...She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she was on the pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill gave her facial hair. (I really couldn't see a difference, after all she is Italian). Fast Foward 9 months...i'm out breaking my back doing manual labor, she's a big, fat, hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition of a rabid Pit Bull. Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The day she gave birth, i thought again, that things will change for the better. WRONG!! Now everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second fiddle. Sex life? Ha! The only time i get some action is when i see her breast feeding the little bastard! I'm going crazy, at least if i had a motorcycle, i could take out some of my frustration. Even the guys at work notice how miserable i've been. One day, my partner rolls up on a brand new bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He knows how bad i wanted another bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks me if i would like to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly the first time i lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around, i cash my check, and head on over to my partners house. I cruise around for a while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of town. I head up to the bar, place my helmet on it, and order a beer. I look over and see this little hottie chatting it up with her friends. I notice that the eye contact is getting more and more frequent. After a few more minutes, she walks over to me and tells me she just loves motorcycles. That they get her "excited". I ask her if she wants to go for a ride. Her beautifully full lips widen with a pearly white smile. I take that as a yes. I grab her by the hand, and lead her to the bike. She straps on the spare helmet that was on the bike, and away we go. We ride for hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me her apartment is on the next block. Would i want to stop in for a while and have another beer. Who am i to say no? I watch her lead the way, and i can't keep my eyes off of her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when old hippo ass looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned into two, and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her, and she was amazing! It was the best expierence i have ever had. Right then i had an epiphany. I had to be happy. I wasn't going to live a miserable existance for the rest of my life and something had to be done. Long story short, i left my hairy beast of a wife. (She's done good since i left. She remarried an Appliance salesman named Harold.) While i was moving out, i came across the helmet. I don't ever want to be reminded of my miserable past life, so please, make a bid. I have a motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size MED and i would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL ONLY. Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No Zero or Negative Feedback Bidders.http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7927433876


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: chatsucks; divorce; helmet; injustice; marriage; motorcycle; motorcyle; relationships; spouse; wedding; wife
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To: tiamat; Darksheare

I think Darksheare IS this guy.


61 posted on 10/13/2004 10:40:20 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Lord, I apologize . . . and be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea amen.)
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To: Xenalyte; Darksheare

Xenalyte wrote:


I think Darksheare IS this guy.




LOL!

Aw, you're MEAN!


62 posted on 10/13/2004 10:42:06 AM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: Tijeras_Slim

I have a few wheel guns my fav is my S&W Model 28. But I like my Ruger autos. I have lots and lots of guns and ammo.


63 posted on 10/13/2004 10:43:51 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Dan Rather, "I lied, but I lied about the truth".)
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To: blackie

I have the all black one..


64 posted on 10/13/2004 10:47:33 AM PDT by Darksheare (The Mods demand sacrifice, your pennance shall be "UNNNGH!!")
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To: Conspiracy Guy

I've got a pre-28, first year mfg. (1954). That thing's a workhorse. Just can't get enough of the old Smiths. Only Rugers I've had have been the MKII and a Super Blackhawk.


65 posted on 10/13/2004 10:47:47 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (I want to have fanatical henchmen when I grow up.)
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To: tiamat

Yes.


66 posted on 10/13/2004 10:47:56 AM PDT by Darksheare (The Mods demand sacrifice, your pennance shall be "UNNNGH!!")
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To: tiamat; Xenalyte

LOL!

I honestly wouldn't doubt that I am the guy..
(I did try to sell my brother off on e-bay.. they said you can't do that. I think I'm still listed as a 'hat and coat rack/umbrella stand' combo..)
/ joke.


67 posted on 10/13/2004 10:49:41 AM PDT by Darksheare (The Mods demand sacrifice, your pennance shall be "UNNNGH!!")
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To: Darksheare

What did you list your brother as?

( I love eBay)


68 posted on 10/13/2004 10:51:25 AM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: Tijeras_Slim

I have a MKII as well. I love guns. I just don't get to shoot enough. I stay sharp but I wish I had a range in my backyard.


69 posted on 10/13/2004 10:54:24 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Dan Rather, "I lied, but I lied about the truth".)
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To: martin_fierro; woofie

Too funny! Hubby really can't complain about me - we even ride WHEN I'm preggo - he calls me the lumbar support! I will be 37 weeks along on Saturday and he'll be gone all weekend on a ride.


70 posted on 10/13/2004 11:02:39 AM PDT by StarCMC (It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden; it's our job to arrange the meeting.)
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To: martin_fierro
I like the bucket on the guy in the middle. I want one just like that.

And how come she doesn't have helmet hair?

71 posted on 10/13/2004 11:03:14 AM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: tiamat

Attempted to list him as "electrical field detector" or some such.
Did try to sell him off in a achatroom once as well.
Almost got 25 cents for him..


72 posted on 10/13/2004 11:07:06 AM PDT by Darksheare (The Mods demand sacrifice, your pennance shall be "UNNNGH!!")
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To: Darksheare

"electrical field detector"


Is he hirsuite?


73 posted on 10/13/2004 11:09:40 AM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: woofie
The only time i get some action is when i see her breast feeding the little bastard!

I can't feel too sorry for a guy that refers to his own child as a "little bastard".

74 posted on 10/13/2004 11:10:44 AM PDT by SilentServiceCPOWife (No one notices the water until the well runs dry.)
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To: Darksheare

Mine is all black, too. :)


75 posted on 10/13/2004 11:12:33 AM PDT by blackie (Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
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To: newgeezer

ping


76 posted on 10/13/2004 11:15:01 AM PDT by biblewonk (Neither was the man created for woman but the woman for the man.)
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To: tiamat

He kinda whizzed on an electric fence once.


77 posted on 10/13/2004 11:16:37 AM PDT by Darksheare (The Mods demand sacrifice, your pennance shall be "UNNNGH!!")
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To: blackie

I don't have a motorcycle though...
*chuckle*


78 posted on 10/13/2004 11:23:36 AM PDT by Darksheare (The Mods demand sacrifice, your pennance shall be "UNNNGH!!")
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To: Darksheare

ROFLMAO!


I used to baby-sit for a very disturbed little boy who peed onto an electric socket...

Fortunantly he lived, and i was not taking care of him that day....

knocked him across the room, though!


79 posted on 10/13/2004 11:25:57 AM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno-World!")
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To: tiamat

THAT would have been worth seeing.
My brother also got knocked across the room by 440 AC during an elevator inspection he was assisting with.
The inspector turned the juice on to the controller cabinet while my brother had his hand in it...

He's good at detecting electrical current..


80 posted on 10/13/2004 11:35:17 AM PDT by Darksheare (The Mods demand sacrifice, your pennance shall be "UNNNGH!!")
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