In other news, hundreds of thousands of indigenous giant monkey skulls registered to vote today in Ohio. 98% of them registered as Democrats.
CAMBODIA TO SWITCH TO SKULL-BASED ECONOMY
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia - Cambodian dictator Pol Pot announced Saturday that his nation will soon replace the riel, its longtime unit of currency, with the human skull.
"Paper money and metal coins are a waste of our country's precious, limited natural resources," Pot said. "But skulls are plentiful, as the countryside is littered with them."
Pot said the switch to a skull-based economy makes sense for political reasons, as well. "The taint of bourgeois reactionary counterrevolution infects the riel," he said. "But the blinding whiteness of our country's native headbones are the perfect symbol for the radiant new dawn the Khmer Rouge has brought to Cambodia."
The new plan is drawing praise from economists, including Jan Van Duyn, chairman of the International Monetary Fund.
"By establishing a fixed, stable and plentiful transaction marker - in this case, the millions of bare, vulture-picked crania of massacred innocents strewn across the blood-soaked valley lowlands of Cambodia like ossified rivers from the darkest regions of Hell - Pol Pot sends a strong message to overseas investors that Cambodia is open for business," he said.
The skull-based economy will go into effect as soon as the country has any goods or services to offer.