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Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington, DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the US Senate for assistance.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Senator Kerry. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Senator Kerry, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."

Subject: YO!!!!!! You know you're from Philadelphia when...

You Know You're From Philadelphia When...

You punctuate every sentence with, "You know" at least twice.

You want olive oil, not mayonnaise on your "hoagie"

You hate the Redskins

You hate Dallas.

You realize that your favorite dessert is "wooder ice".

You find yourself using "yo" and "youse guys" when talking long-distance
to family members.

You know how to pronouce Schuylkill.

You pronounce ACME "ACK-A-ME"

You hear the words "Byoo-dee-full" and "Atty-tude" and think nothing of it.

You think that $2,500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a
bargain.

You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking "I wonder if they have
cheese steaks?"

You sleep soundly through gunfire, ambulance sirens and words from a bullhorn shouting, "Come out with your hands up!"

You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is.

You can't eat french fries without Cheese Whiz.

You call sprinkles on top of your ice cream cone "jimmies"

You don't think Wawa sounds funny.

You snub a cheese steak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.

Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles all live on the same
block.

You know who Jim O'Brien is and how he died.

You can't imagine lunch without a Tastycake.

You're still not sure about Jerry Penacolli.

A vacation at the Jersey shore (pronounced "Down the shoore") is better
than going to an island (there's more stuff to do, plus you know
everybody.)

You know where to find the Rocky statue.

You know that only tourists go to Geno's, Pat's and Jim's for authentic
cheese steaks. ---You only go if you're drunk and it's 3:00 a.m.

You can make a cheese steak and you've never been taught

You've never been to the Liberty Bell, or the only time you were there
was on a class trip in third grade.

You know what and where "Boathouse Row" is.

You will buy a pretzel from anyone, anywhere without even thinking of
where it was - or where his hands have been.

You can't imagine a breakfast without scrapple.

You don't know what a sub is, but you think they are trying to describe
an imitation HOAGIE.

You aren't a bandwagon Sixers fan...you loved them when they sucked, and
before they had A.I.

You go to The Gallery or South Street in the summer time just to chill.

You have the pizza place on speed dial.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Philadelphia. :)

You use the word "anymore" instead of the word "lately" and it sounds
fine.

You pronounce the word Roxborough as Roxburr and you know where that is.

So...............

YO!!!! How did youse score? :)