In January of this year I went to the doctor to see what was available to aid me in my attempt to quit smoking. The doctor perscribed Wellbutrin and told me to give it about a month to feel it effects. For those who might not know Wellbutrin is an anti-depressant that has a side effect were it makes a smoker not get the rush from cigarettes and also makes them taste bad. Sounds good huh?
Well after about a month of taking this drug I had what is know as a substance induced mood disorder with manic features according to the DSM IV. Again, for those who don't know, (and I was one that didn't know at the time) the characteristics of a manic episode are:
-inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
-decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
-more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
-flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
-attention is easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant items
-increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)
At first this all seemed pretty fun. My self-esteem was way up there. I could go days on very little or no sleep at all. I talked to everyone strangers and friends alike. I called distant friends and talk and talked. I talked to every cute girl there was and got a 19 y/o girlfriend, I'm 38 and married 15 years. I also began doing all the drugs I could get my hands on.
This episode lasted for 4 months and ended with the destruction of the first floor of my house and being taken away by police paddy-wagon to the state mental hospital.
I nearly lost my family, my job was adversely effected and I caused about $100K of damage to my house and it's contents.
These drugs can be very dangerous indeed.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It just sickens me to think of people like you, and the millions of others; men, women, and children who have also suffered from the mania, or will suffer when they try to come off the meds. I have read that the numbers of children on antidepressants is right now today in America one out of six. And the number of adults on antidepressants have been estimated to be one in three.
I will pray for a healing of your life and family. I was able to make it to the other side because of a wonderful, patient husband, educated professions, and well written books, articles, and information. Thank Goodness for my psychiatrist, Peter Breggin, Ann Blake Tracy, and the other authors who have heroically and courageously written the books.
I'd rather be addicted to cigarettes that experience manic-depressive hell. But I am grateful you made it through without killing anyone or yourself. Give you mind some time to balance out. It took me years to rebuild reality after experiencing the psychotic break. The shame and embarassment were huge. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, it was just so horrible. I was picked up by the police in my underwear.
The analogy I have come up with is reality being a sort of brick wall, and when one becomes psychotic or even just manic, that reality smashes the wall into individual bricks. The job of the person healing from this destruction is to carefully and consistently rebuild the wall.
You are already leaps and bounds ahead of the average psyche drug user in the sense that you KNOW it was a drug reaction. My greater concern is with the many people in our society who have no clue they are experiencing a mental side effect from the drugs.
Take Care!
Jenny Hatch