After reading this letter, you will never again be able to trust a Saddamite troll, and you will see with crystal clarity the way that I find his failed attempts to brand us as hideous mildly amusing. First and foremost, it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to sound the bugle of liberty. When you get right down to it, documents written by his henchmen typically include the line, "The purpose of life is self-gratification", in large, 30-point type, as if the size of the font gives weight to the words. In reality, all that that fancy formatting really does is underscore the fact that the Saddamite once used his notoriety, name recognition, and national fund-raising base to gain a respectable foothold for his dictatorial, sullen newsgroup postings. No joke. Defeatism is classically a hodgepodge of cajoleries crafted for mass appeal. But even if we disregard all that and examine only his unsympathetic belief systems, this seems to me to be enough to show that I oppose his complaints because they are lewd. I oppose them because they are piteous. And I oppose them because they will set the wolf to mind the sheep in the immediate years ahead.
This Saddamite represents the most recent incarnation of the unique 20th-century phenomenon known as "fork-tongued frotteurism". (Actually, this letter is written with the hope that readers will think for a minute about the situation at hand, but that's not important now.) After watching his cohorts stigmatize any and all attempts to protect the interests of the general public against the greed and unreason of the most disloyal twerps you'll ever see, one might conclude that these Saddamites et al. would lay out their own ideas of philosophical pedagogy, textual interpretation, and moral philosophy. Surprisingly, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if this troll had done his homework, he'd know that each rung on the ladder of terrorism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for him to destroy any resistance by channeling it into ineffective paths. That is the standard process by which gin-swilling ochlocrats lower our standard of living.
I am tired of hearing or reading that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. You know that that is simply not true. Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue. I have taken the liberty of letting this DUsruptor know that he would have us believe that the federal government should give more and more of our hard-earned money and give more and more of our sovereign power to the UN. That, of course, is nonsense, total nonsense. But this Saddamite is surrounded by hopeless snobs who parrot the same nonsense. This troll denies any other possibility. While most people know this like a schoolchild knows that 2+2=4, our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to keep our priorities in check, we must maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combating him. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because Moby's marching morons have certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. He thinks that surrendering to the common will is a viable and vital objective for our nation's security. Of course, thinking so doesn't make it so.
It must be pointed out over and over again to this Saddamite's proxies and, in a broader sense, to paltry troglodytes that the last time I told his comrades that I want to force commie trolls into early retirement, they declared in response, "But we defend the real needs of the working class." Of course, they didn't use exactly those words, but that's exactly what they meant. The central paradox of his biases, the twist that makes his circulars so irresistible to self-righteous, impetuous card sharks, is that these people truly believe that his mistakes are always someone else's fault. It is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did the socialist's' reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "Why does this Saddamite have to be such a useful idiot?" I'll tell you what I think the answer is. I think that maladroit and jejune, this troll's viewpoints resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that because of this DUruptor's obsession with ageism, if he feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself.
Many people are convinced that Democrats' ideologies are so nebulous and malleable that they can be used to justify any obdurate zingers. They are -- for lack of a better word -- manipulative. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that some people are responsible and others are not. This Saddamite falls into the category of "not". In effect, if I were to compile a list of this Brownshirt for Kerry's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that when you tell Kerry's followers that their arguments are just an outcropping of the left's hatred of us, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that I wonder if they really believes the tin foil conspiracy theory things they say. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that his litanies are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, the poisonous wine of ruffianism had been distilled long before he entered the scene. This Saddamite is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. His taradiddles reek of oligarchism. I use the word "reek", because many people respond to his unbalanced stratagems in the same way that they respond to television dramas. They watch them; they talk about them; but they feel no overwhelming compulsion to do anything about them. That's why I insist we give direction to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly the useful idiot troll himself or one of his yes-men, will write a prurient piece about how utterly quasi-doctrinaire I am. If that's the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.
Written (with subtle correction) by Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator:
http://www.pakin.org/complaint/
