To the tune of Ghost Riders in the Sky:
An ol' cowpoke named Melvin.....went riding out one day.
He rode out to the levy....in his new Chevrolet.
The blazing sun was beating down .... no clouds were in the sky.
When he got to the levy......the river had gone dry.
Thirsty dry ooooh.
Thirsty dry aaaaa.
Pore ol' thirsty Melvin.
His tongue was swelling in his mouth......his face was turning green.
When he spied upon the shore... a big red Coke machine.
As he tried in vain to reach it...it vanished from his sight.
He sobbed and cried as he realized...how hopeless was his plight.
chorus
His eyes were full of tears and sweat....his teeth were full of grit.
He cried for help, with every step.....he sank knee deep in $hit.
The awful odor of that place..... was all that he could smell.
Cause he had died within the night.... and now he was in Hell.
chorus
Don't let Darksheare hear about that Coke machine from Hell.
He'll be dreaming about it.
Pull up a seat here on the train. We'll swap lies.