Posted on 08/27/2004 9:48:45 AM PDT by IN Farm Girl
Ping post #20.
I always wondered what Herbie was spewing onto the contestants.. that one guy looked like he was gonna die..
Right into the septic fluid
Indeed Ken
It looked like baking soda or something, or a fire extinguisher. I liked when Herbie tripped, and Captain Tenneal gave him the beat-down. ;-)
Guy LeDouche: "When I think of Vegas I think of glitz, gambling, naughty showgirls and of course, my snug-fitting shorts. Hohohohoahahahahaha!"
Captain Tenneal: "How many people here think that the fast food industry is responsible for the rise in obesity in America, and should be held accountable financially? Show of hands. ("Yea!") Well, you're wrong. Your wanton gluttony is the reason why you're all so fat!"
Captain Tenneal: "How many people here think that there is too much of a focus on outer beauty, and true beauty lies within? Show of hands. ("Yea!") Well, you're wrong. Pretty people always win."
Kenny: "Look Vic, dirty girl..."
Kenny: "Nose Nuggets!"
Vic: "Kenny, you gullible little monkey! I'm surprised you haven't been sucked up by a cult yet"
Vic: "And here's Tabuli Babaganoosh, owner of Happy Jihad's One Way Truck Rentals."
Vic : Well, unfortunately, Ken, it's a common malady among longtime bridesmaids-she suffers from chronic dry basket
Vic : [introducing the next contestant on DASH TO DEATH] ..."he's a tub caulker."
Kenny : Oh so he's into fat chicks.
Vic : I'm not sure what he's into Ken!
Kenny : So what does he do with his caulk?
Vic : he sticks it in the crack, Ken
Kenny : Oh so he's in porn than!
Vic : Kenny listen, he is in construction!
Kenny : You say he sticks his caulk in the crack and he's in construction?
Vic : Caulking, it's used to fill cracks. It's a compound.
Kenny : He built a place to do this.
Vic : Ah Kenny!
Kenny : Am I missing something?
Vic : Well thanks to you we practically missed the entire run...
Contestant: No matter what I say, you'll just overdub my voice!
Vic and Kenny speaking softly: What? I don't understand? What does he mean, overdub?
The Babaganoosh characters are either Indian or Arab. There's one in every episode!
That caulking the cracks bit is my all time favorite exchange..
Vic: "...He's a retired circus strongman. At one time he could actually lift Rosie O'Donnell."
Kenny: "God, nobody's that strong! Her head alone must weigh 90 pounds!"
Vichy: Viva la France!
Capt. Tenneal: Yeah, great go on.
Vic: Next up, Vichy Chirac, he's a forfeit instructor at the French Military College of Capitulation.
Ken: Right here, I'll show you what he did wrong. When you ride pole, you've got to keep it rigid, otherwise somebody is going to get hurt.
Kenny: "Yeah, girl on girl action! Right, Vic?"
Vic: "That's girl versus girl, Kenny."
Kenny: "What's the difference?"
Vic: "Well, in one case, Kenny, just one girl wins, and in the other..."
Kenny: "Everyone wins?"
Vic: "KENNY, KNOCK IT OFF!!"
Kenny: And now the "Tower de Grand Pricks"
Vic: Kenny, that's "Tour de Grand Prix"
Kenny: (giggles) But it's spelled "Pricks"
Vic (on an Impact Replay freeze-frame): Ken, what are we looking at?
Ken: You can see her underwear!
Vic: Ken, you can't use the Impact Replay to look at underwear!
Con (To the Captain:) "We'll kick your ass!"
Captain:"You know, I hate to state the obvious, fellas, but those muscles look drawn on."
Con: "Yeah, you just wait until we get our chest implants!"
Captain: "Like the Captain's going to get his ass kicked by a guy with knockers?!? LET'S GO!!"
Captain: Who thinks that execution should be shown on national television as a deterrant for crime? Especially for the kids, eh? ("Yea!") Y-YES! I'm with you on this one! So we're all in agreement. Don't you agree with me, lawman?
Lawman: Yeah, *snicker* cook 'em like chicken, man!
Vic: Hey, ya lookin' at me? Huh? Ya lookin' at me? Ya talkin' to me? You wanna [smack Kenny on the head with a horn] piece of this, Copper?! Ha ha, see what I did there, Ken? I was trying to get inside the criminal mind of our contestants [smack Kenny on the head again] for today's show on "Cops and Robbers!" Which side are you on, Ken?
Kenny: I'm a detective. I'm Dirty Kenny Callahan, Rogue Cop!
Vic: I can see that. That's a great detective costume!
Kenny: And I'm a heavy drinker, too.
Vic: Oh? I'll bet you play by your own rules.
Kenny: Yeah, and I'm also on the S.W.A.T. team.
Vic: Yeah. And, uh, the mayor's always on your tail.
Kenny: Yeah.
Vic: In love with a hooker who's got a heart of gold.
Kenny: Yeah.
Vic: Partner got killed?
Kenny: Yeah, and I blame myself. Chief wants me to see a shrink.
Vic: You know, Ken, if you eat too much "Prison Chili," you might just give up your right to remain silent.
Captain Tanneal: Contestants, how many of you consider addiction a disease? ("Yea!") Yeah, well, that's a load of crap. Addicts are worthless and weak. That's called "tough love".
Vic: "...She's a sexual harassment councellor"
Kenny: "Nice Ass"
Vic: "Indeed."
Guy LeDouche(To Tamela Lee): "Oh, you hit your head so hard on that log. Guy was worried. Are you all right?"
Tamela Lee: "(Belch!) Is my face swollen?"
Guy LeDouche: "Well, it's a little large, but...are you okay?"
Tamela Lee: "(Belch!) Oh, my bile's coming up... (Belch!)...my stomach lining's breaking down, (Belch!)...(Belch!)..."
Guy LeDouche: "Oh, you are so turning on Guy!"
Vic: "Creepy stuff!"
Kenny: (after seeing the skid mark one player has to make is a peace sign) And she has to make the classic peace sign.
Vic: Peace sign? That looks more like a chicken footprint or a camel toe.
Vic: "Here's something you don't see very often, an actual foaling..."
Kenny: "It's only got two legs!"
Vic: "Yes, but as it matures, the other two will naturally drop down."
Kenny (referring to the helmet that fell off the contestant): "Look, Vic, is that a freak twin?"
Vic: "Way to suck the beauty out of the moment, Ken."
Vic: "Here's Queerwig. He sneeks into the ears of sleeping children and turns them into gay teens."
Kenny: "Man, my nards are frozen! Why can't they make warmer snow?"
Vic: "That's something to ponder, Kenny."
Colonel Finger : F you!
Vic: And there's Colonel Finger, the surly owner of the chicken chain restaurant KFU.
Ken: The restaurant that gives you the bird.
Captain Tenneal: How many of you believe that print media is slowly dying out, due to television and the Internet? Show of hands... now! ("Yea!") Well, you're wrong! That's the title of the Captain's new book, "Well, You're Wrong!"
I was laughing over that, because there is an actual buffalo wings chain called Cluck U. in East Coast college towns. ;-)
Now when I take the dogs outside I yell 'Let's Go'...
"Honey, he tried to touch my lady berries!"
oooooh, Guy like, hohohohohohahahahaaaaa
One of the funniest and best shows on TV.
Vic Romano had me fooled with his happy-go-lucky persona on MXC, but I later found out that he was in the Yakuza.
In the end K/E finished w/ 4, B/C w/ 1, but then the captain came in and due to hanging chads Bush won.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.