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Wasn't the fact that he was separated (not divorced) a big red flag for you?

Not particularly. I was 'separated' from my ex for almost 2 years until I got him to sign the final papers.

That and I'm one of those horribly honest people who tends to believe others are the same way until they prove themselves otherwise.

Being separated isn't always a red flag.

In my case I was separated 8 years from my now ex-wife. It really was the absolutely best outcome I could hope for. I got to keep the kids, I managed not to get into the child-support system and in the end I got to keep my house also. A major win-win for me. In return she got her health insurance and car insurance paid by me. A damn good deal I think!

I have since remarried and my wife was separated for three years. Similar situation for her, only reversed.

It's been great being married again and we both are very happy with each other. The secret... I have absolutely no idea what it could be. It just works.

PS: We did meet online and we both had dated numerous others before we found each other.