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Freepers...would you like to share your success/horror stories concerning dating, including online dating services?

My first serious boyfriend was a conservative Christian fundamentalist who wanted children.

He confessed to engaging in cybersex with minors as young as 13-years-old.

'Nuff said.

To be fair, he had a lot of red flags and our relationship was horrible and full of fights, anger, and sexual manipulation. I was the stupid one to let myself be trapped so long--the full extent of what went on didn't hit me for months. Just thinking about it makes me cry. Women should not vote or lead the nation--we're so very easy manipulated.

The only thing I've learned from the experience is... your friends and loving family will very, very rarely lead you astray on your dates. If they hate your date's guts, drop them like a hot potato.

ANd, above all, any feeling that you're "trapped" in a relationship is entirely in your mind. Unless you're married, you can and should cut it off. Doesn't matter if you have a ring or whatever, just LEAVE!

I have quite a bit of online dating experience. Almost all of the men remain friends of mine today. I count 11 on my IM list now. Unfortunately they usually become pushy for sex on the second date, and I don't go for that and turn down the third date requests. That does often lead to good discussions, though, and they continue to ask my opinion about other things going on in their lives - even about other women they date. *L*
I turn down many more first dates than I accept, too, because so many of the men are way too young for me. It doesn't feel right going out with someone who is closer to my sons' ages than to mine. Apparently dating older women is a trend now.

After finding the love of my life--twice--and losing her--twice, several disastrous relationships...I gave up.

I sat down and had a talk with myself. "Boris, old fellow, whatever you got, they don't want; whatever they want, you don't got."

True enough: I am overweight and ugly. I have engineering degrees from prestigious institutions, a house, nice car, decent income, money in the bank, don't drink or smoke, don't abuse women; evidently insufficient qualifications. Tired of having my heart broken. Maybe I don't take rejection well. When the second one (I was planning to propose marriage) left me for another woman that tore it.

Now I am 53; hormones subsiding. Plus I'm on meds that make your noodle lose its starch, if you take my meaning.

So I am sort of glad the "heat in the blood" is gone...and resigned to living alone.

How's that?

--Boris

What I Want in a Man

What I Want in a Man, Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5.. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7.. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

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