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GARAGE SALE JUNKY

Gotta admit -- I'm a garage sale junky;
Huntin' for stuff from priceless to funky.
Always in search of that ultimate treasure
That will fill me with the ultimate pleasure.
If I must, I do it alone.
With money in hand, I brave the unknown.
Following signs from sale to sale --
Woe to those who stand in my trail.

Pedal to the metal to get there first --
Driven to quench this unending thirst.
Vaulting out of my car with unleashed zest,
Hoping to satisfy this nagging quest.
This quest has become a sick obsession
To find that ideal worldly possession!
Treasure abounding -- some one of a kind!
There's no way of knowing what I might find!

An electric blanket missing a cord,
Some tarot cards, and a Ouija board.
A tattered skateboard with urethane wheels,
Two Veg-A-Matics, and three Seal-A-Meals!
A tired, retired, one-eyed bear
A faded, corroded floating pool chair.

Kid's pet hamsters with bulging bellies.
Ten-year-old homemade jams and jellies.
Baby food, Mason, and mayonnaise jars,
An Elvis decanter, and three-wheeled cars.
A box of assorted fine costume jewels.
Another with greasy, tattered old tools.
A fine old floor lamp minus a plug.
Only a dime for a handleless mug!

Exercycles and other reducers,
A yogurt maker, and orange juicers.
A patched-up beachball that doesn't hold air.
A once-loved dolly that used to have hair.
A chair that only needs a new cover.
A book of "Lady Chatterly's Lover".
A ball and shoes for the would-be bowler.
A minibike and a baby stroller.

A Mickey Mouse watch with only one hand.
A crusty and rusty iron plant stand.
A set of eight glasses (no two alike).
A broken down one-speed, seatless bike.
A Nehru jacket, and some Gucci shoes.
Old Playboys, and Hustlers, and U.S. News.
Bike parts, and car parts, and spare parts galore.
Headboards and slant boards, and surf boards and more!

By now you can see I can't get enough.
I keep hauling home magnificent stuff!
I stack it all up from ceiling to floor.
It's getting so I can't open a door.
My garage is full; my closets are bulging.
I don't have space for much more indulging.

Now listen, my friend, when I'm old and grey,
And when it is time to put me away,
Just stuff my old body in an old trunk
And bury me 'neath my lovely old junk.

Carol A.

Johnmiserable failureKerry