i never said anything about hiding anything from kids. but if you have adults getting drunk, or drinking to the point that they are oblivious to what is going on in their own house, then that i do disagree with. Whether xsSIL's friend didn't know or didn't care what was going on at her house, the bottom line is, xsSIL and i, would not permit our girls to attend a party at her house again, bc she clearly isn't paying attention. Several kids at that party, including the exchange student that the woman was hosting were in trouble with the COPS for drinking at a party the previous weekend. it is just totally irresponsible. Adults acting irresponsibly while drinking are setting that same tone for their kids. they will do what you DO, not what you say.
I'm in total agreement with you....what occurred at that party was irresponsible....allowing a bunch of teenagers to be off in another section of the house without adult supervision was also irresponsible, IMO.