This face wants to know, "When are people going to face the reality?"
Posted on 05/21/2004 5:24:24 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty
1 . Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 13.. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam.
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Bonus:
This face wants to know, "When are people going to face the reality?"
I'm not sure why that's a racist statement. And why would she tell the people at the next table to "go back to the colonies" when they're already here?
She must be referring to another set of colonies?
Al Gore has all the personality - and dynamism - of a glacier. Dork.
Perhaps she meant Rhodesia? Whatever, it was an odd statement from a not-particularly-bright woman.
That's reminds me, I got a chance to hear Maureen Dowd's voice. At a bookstore gathering for Michael Kelly's book of columns just out. Bob Woodward, Ted Koppel and Dowd were to read passages, Dowd showed up 35 minutes late. (Kelly's wife and children, sister and other family and friends were there.)
Dowd's voice is horrible. Imagine Fran Drescher's voice without the charm.
Yes, but only if you're a frog or a grasshopper.
I'm really surprised that Botulism stuff doesn't last longer. No wonder the dermatologists are wealthy. After the first injection, people get hooked on how nice they look without the wrinkles. But if it only lasts a few weeks it is a real Cash Cow for the Docs.
Botox doc's have quite a racket going.
New thread on it's way....
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