[JustAmy]

A preacher is buying a parrot.

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."

"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

[JustAmy]

Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, 'Mike, you wait here, I'm going to run in for confession, it's been a long time'.

Pat enters the confessional and says,' Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman'.

The priest asks, 'was it Mrs Murphy'? 'no, Father', was the reply.

'Was it Mrs O'Boyle'? Again the reply was 'No, Father'.

'Was it Mrs. O'Grady'? Pat said, Father, I'll not be teling you the lady's name!

So the priest told him to say two Hail Mary's for each time he had sinned with the woman.

Back on the street, Mike said, 'Well, how did you do'? Pat said, 'Just fine, I kept me mouth shut and got 3 new prospects'!

[OESY]