I think we need some more vanities here today.

Owl_Eagle ^ | March 30, 2004 | Owl_Eagle

[End Times Sentinel]

You've posted a total of 129 threads and 3,391 replies.

This will make 130.

Owl_Eagle

”Unleash the Hogs of Peace.”
P.J. O'Rourke Parliament of Whores

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Am I logged in? Where have y'all been? What am I doing?

[TheRedSoxWinThePennant]

how about the fact the yankees are 0-1 this season BOO HOO!!!!

[luigi]

Ahh, but the Rays are 1-0!

[kitkat]

***My cat had kittens. Does that count? (More details furnished upon request)***

Ohhhh, I LOVE all the wonderful "cat had kittens" vanities. And we haven't had one for ages. PLEASE give more information.

[kitkat]

***If so, you can pray for me, my son turns 16 tomorrow, LOL.***

Hide the car keys. If that doesn't work, hide the car. If that doesn't work, move and leave no forwarding address.

[small voice in the wilderness]

Join me as we go on a tour of threads. We'll be Thread Heads. Just don't forget your lighter. It's threads like this that make me want to honor the moment.

[kitkat]

***Darn kids. Internetting- that's all they're interested in, Internetting around! Why when I was a kid we didn't even have no internet! you believe that? We had to entertain ourselves! And we sure didn't go on nobody else's lawn to do it -no sir! Darn kids.***

Yeah! And those are same darn kids who get their parents to put a basketball ring on their garage right next to your dining room window, and when you ask them politely to "Stop that damn racket. You're giving me ulcers," they start up with their legal rights. Darn kids today know too much.

We didn't have no legal rights when we were kids.
Darn kids today!

[beaversmom]

My cat had his penis cutt off last Wednesday (urinary tract problems.) He's been in a pretty good mood considering. He goes to get the catheter removed tomorrow.

[beaversmom]

should read "cut" off.

[cyborg]

Does your cat want everyone to know that? :)

[SamAdams76]

Confessions of a closet Starbucks drinker

After years and years of being satisfied with Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I have had the misfortune to develop a taste for Starbucks. Do not ask me how I acquired this taste. For I do not really know the entire story myself.

Suffice to say that although I still take my regular Dunkin' Donuts coffee in the morning, I frequently find myself pulled into a Starbucks in the middle of the day for one of their specialty yuppie drinks.

Imagine my dilemma as a Massachusetts conservative walking into the liberal bastion that is Starbucks.

Walking into a Starbucks is like walking into a perpetual casting call for Reality Bites. The clientele at Starbucks are so pretentiously ostentatious that you wonder if they are not paid by Starbucks to sit there all day just to project the required "bohemian" atmosphere.

You got these insufferable yuppie types sitting at those tiny tables with their iMac laptops open in front of them as if they were frantically working on deadline for Mother Jones on some saving-the-tropical-rain-forest article. But when you walk past them, you realize that the screen is blank and just there for show. You almost want to pick one of these up just to see if they are just plastic replicas of iMacs like those hollowed-out books that the furniture stores use in their showrooms as decor.

Then you got those brooding Brad Pitt types with the goatee staring off into space as they sip their $4 mocha frappachinos. The whole scene is as insufferable as a PBS fundraiser or a Howard Dean campaign rally.

Yet still, I find myself walking into Starbucks quite frequently these days, nervously looking around me to make sure that nobody that knows me is in there (or I'd never hear the end of it). I then walk up to the imposing counter and place my order with the barista or whatever the heck they call the counter people in there.

Now Starbucks does not use sizes like small, medium and large like the normal coffee shops do. No, Starbucks is too "quaint" for that. Instead, their sizes are called tall, grande and venti. Yes, small is "tall" and large is "venti" with medium being "grande."

What the heck kind of a system is that?

Anyhow, I cannot bring myself to order in this very weird manner so I say to the "barista" that I'd like a large latte. Of course, they always look down their noses at me for using such a pedestrian adjective and besides, I probably don't pronounce "latte" the way they like either. But too bad. I get my latte and I'm out of there like a bat out of hell.

Don't know what Starbucks puts in those lattes but they sure are damn good.

[FourPeas]

My kid burned himself on my glue gun. I was using it to build train engine decorations from pieces of wrapped candy. Wanna see? The burn or the decorations, you pick.

[beaversmom]

He doesn't mind. He's not ashamed. We plan on going on Oprah sometime to share his heroic story of survival with the world. It's time to break the silence so other felines will know there is life after this heartbreaking surgery.

[cyborg]

LOL!

[Cboldt]

I posted a vanity once. I think it was about our cats.

It was about as lame as this vanity. Mine got pulled in about 3 minutes.

I am soooo jealous. You have some real pull here.

[11th Earl of Mar]

Why isn't this in Breaking News?

I almost missed it.

[Hmmm... I should start a thread asking if anybody else feels that way too]

[mrsmith]

Sassed you with his "legal rights" did he?!!!!

Well consarn!!!!!! I ain't never heard the like!

It's that internetting, that's where they get those crazy ideas, don't care nothing about a person's wanting to sit down and have a decent peaceful meal! And you got to pay $5 a pound for a decent piece of meat to put on a table to boot! Who'd have ever thought such a thing? Why I remember you could get the finest steak you ever wanted for a quarter a pound and they was happy to sell it to you! It weren't like now where you got to grub through all them packages all piled up after everybody been grubbing through them and you can't hardly make out what kind of meat it is if it's even a steak hardly and they always got the worst side down in the packeage where you can't see it hoping to fool you into buying suet for $5 a pound and that's all it is is suet! Why suet was practically free and we just threw it awy for the birds, all kinds of them would come around, why in the fall there wasn't any type of bird that didn't come down for a taste of that suet they thought that was the greatest thing ever. There ain't no better treat to a bird than a fat hunk of suet lying out in a tree branch.

Kids, what are you gonna do with them these days? They ain't worth the shot to blow them to kingdom come God forgive me.
Running around throwing a basketball making a noise like a elephant that thinks it's a woodpecker. And having to use one hand to hold up their droopy drawers all the while to cover their fanny.
Vanity thread- Ha they need a "fannnyty" thread or two- that's what they need! Darn idiots, internetting around getting crazy fool ideas got their pants tripping them everywhere they go.

[trussell]

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Steve Martin, "Let's Get Small" LP, circa roughly 1978?

Bingo. Yer good.

To this very day, I cannot look at the back of that album cover without breaking out in hysterical laughter.

I mean, knee-scrapin' teary-eyed, out-of-breath belly laughs. Something about those balloon hats and quasi-Groucho glasses hits me right square in the funny bone. I'm getting the giggles just thinking about it.

[Redcloak]

I was gonna say that.