For the sake of the children: CPS Crossfire

To: sinkspur Sounds more like a dumb mom than a Munchhausen's by proxy. With Munchhausen's, the mom appears to be concerned and all the staff loves her for loving her kid. The mom quickly is an expert at all the instructions but then deliberatly does them wrong, but can spout off exactly what she was supposed to do, claiming in great detail she did it (but of course she did not, she does it wrong so she can be the center of attention as the loving mom).

This sounds more like a dumb mom, who gets frustrated and just can't do it right. Kids either need daily watching by family or social service, or a foster home to feed the kids and get them in shape. The best thing for all would be to put the kid with a relative, so mom can be in touch, but the kids are safe.

Wonder why it made the newspaper? We see these problems all the time, often with young moms(under 16), borderline retarded moms, or with druggie moms.

Iam the Mother this artical was writen about. No, its not a case of "Dumb Mom!" It was a case where each doctor we saw at the hospital changed the feedings and every day care. Besides, not every parent is a genious. I did ask for an in home nurse or someone that could come and assist, however I was told that unless My Husband and I (before our seporation) were going to seporate having him aroung should be enough. I was told this by the hospital officals.

Please believe me when I assert that I am not doing this to offend you, but rather to prepare you for the slings and arrows which may soon fill the thread:

~~Iam~~ I am the ~~Mother~~ mother this ~~artical~~ article was ~~writen~~ written about. No, its not a case of "Dumb Mom!" It was a case where each doctor we saw at the hospital changed the feedings and every day care. Besides, not every parent is a ~~genious~~ genius. I did ask for an in home nurse or someone that could come and assist, however I was told that unless ~~My Husband~~ my husband and I (before our ~~seporation~~ separation) were going to ~~seporate~~ separate having him aroung should be enough. I was told this by the hospital ~~officals~~ officials.

I cannot make any real sense at all of the underscored portion.

I do not know the full story behind what is going on here. I must say that I am always leery of psychological diagnoses in which no attribution can be made to some sort of physical anomaly--one cannot actually prove the existence of Munchausen-by-proxy any more than one can prove ADD/ADHD. Being a parent is a difficult job; parenting a sick child, especially in a situation where there appears to be quite a bit of instability within the relationship of the parents,is not just difficult--it is, in my opinion, a recipe for disaster. I know firsthand just how confusing it is to deal with multiple caregivers who often give conflicting advice and instructions. Sometimes its difficult to understand the instructions of one doctor; add several caregivers into the mix and, again, you have an impending disaster.

Before anyone rakes me over the coals, I would like to stress that I am leery of many psychological diagnoses--I am not saying that these "syndromes" do not exist; I simply believe that all too often they are used as a quick way to deal with a complex situation.

one cannot actually prove the existence of Munchausen-by-proxy any more than one can prove ADD/ADHD

At least one hospital did a pretty solid job of proving one of these cases by using a hidden camera when the mother was alone with the child. When there isn't any monetary or other concrete gain to be had by making the child sick, the psych diagnosis of Munchausen's-by-proxy is about all that's left.

First, let me reiterate--I am NOT saying that it doesn't exist!

I am unfamiliar with the case cited in the thread, apart from a few shaky facts we can assume from the posting:

1. There is a sick child

2. (No offense to Amistrouhal) There is a mother (and possibly a father) who, based solely on what I've read in the post, has a somewhat shaky educational background.

3. There is, apparently, some discord within the relationship of the parents. After having witnessed the effects that divorce has on children, this SHOULD be considered as a factor in the child's illness.

4. There are, apparently, several caregivers giving advice and instructions to at least one of the parents. As I stated earlier, I have occasionally found it difficult to understand a doctor's instructions and I'm fairly well educated. I also have a rather assertive personality and have no problem at all telling a doctor to slow down and speak English--some people don't respond well to authority figures and are afraid to ask questions. Some people don't ask questions because they are afraid of looking incompetent. For whatever the reason, too often questions DON'T get asked and confusion ensues with occasionally dire results.

I do not know the details of this story, which is why I pinged LadyDoc and Sinkspur. I am interested in knowing what's really going on here.

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