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| 3/19/04
| francisandbeans
Posted on 03/19/2004 8:49:00 AM PST by Just another Joe
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To: international american
One more, and then I gotta go fix my roomie's scooter.
I'll be back later.
Humourous Signs
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon : Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
On a Plumber's truck: Nothing beats a Royal Flush
Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck : "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills."
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
41
posted on
03/19/2004 9:39:32 AM PST
by
Don W
(Antacids may be used with this tagline, unless otherwise instructed by your doctor)
To: Gabz
Have a coupla beers and a martooni first, Miss Gabrielle, that'll help the appetite. (I don't know why he'd be unhappy, with you not hungry that means more grub for HIM!)
42
posted on
03/19/2004 9:41:57 AM PST
by
Argh
To: international american
The same.
43
posted on
03/19/2004 9:42:22 AM PST
by
Argh
To: Just another Joe; Gabz
It's almost noon here....
Not too early for a cold one, is it?
To: TheGrimReaper
It's ALWAYS after noon somewhere!
Warning
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.
45
posted on
03/19/2004 9:58:49 AM PST
by
Don W
(Antacids may be used with this tagline, unless otherwise instructed by your doctor)
To: Don W
Sounds like a tasty lunch, eh?
To: TheGrimReaper
kinda greasy..methinks!
To: international american
Joe's Bar And Chow Mein House ??No, since I'll be using only americans as service employees it will be known as
48
posted on
03/19/2004 10:14:56 AM PST
by
Just another Joe
(FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
To: Don W
Sorry, no Alexander Keith's. How about a little Sundevil India Pale Ale?
49
posted on
03/19/2004 10:19:08 AM PST
by
Just another Joe
(FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
To: TheGrimReaper
Not too early for a cold one, is it?The sun is ALWAYS over the yardarm SOMEWHERE.
50
posted on
03/19/2004 10:20:04 AM PST
by
Just another Joe
(FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
To: Just another Joe
Good idea, bro!
To: Just another Joe
Afternoon, Joe ! Happy Friday ! ... 
52
posted on
03/19/2004 10:21:30 AM PST
by
MeekOneGOP
(The Democrats say they believe in CHOICE. I have chosen to vote STRAIGHT TICKET GOP for years !!)
To: Argh
haha ! WARNING. Reading the following comment may cause spewing of liquids on to keyboard and monitor. Please swallow before continuing. No animals were injured in the making of this post. Any similarity to reality is purely coincidental. Any factual statement is not the intent of the poster. Views expressed by the poster are not necessarily shared by the poster. Price is for 24 month lease with $2500 down. Your mileage may vary. Objects are closer than they appear. No shirt, no shoes, no service. You must be at least this tall to ride. Do not remove under penalty of law. Remain seated until the ride comes to a full and complete stop. Reading this post may cause low birth weight. Not recommended for viewers with heart conditions, back or neck injuries, breathing difficulties, recent surgery or illness, high blood pressure and carpal tunnel syndrome.
[Disclaimer courtesy of Conspiracy Guy]
53
posted on
03/19/2004 10:24:25 AM PST
by
MeekOneGOP
(The Democrats say they believe in CHOICE. I have chosen to vote STRAIGHT TICKET GOP for years !!)
To: MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; Just another Joe; Don W
Objects are closer than they appear.
On cars in Newfoundland, this warning reads: "Objects in mirror are behind you".
54
posted on
03/19/2004 10:26:58 AM PST
by
Argh
To: MeekOneGOP
Hi Meek.
If you don't mind me asking, what happened to Ming?
55
posted on
03/19/2004 10:27:22 AM PST
by
Just another Joe
(FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
To: MeekOneGOP
These people are very similar.
To: Argh; All
57
posted on
03/19/2004 10:32:43 AM PST
by
Just another Joe
(FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
To: Just another Joe; Don W
HAH!! DAMN, now I wish I could go back to college. On second thought, I seem to remember doing a fair amount of research along these lines without being involved in any official university research. Newfie Screech (a rotgut rum from Newfoundland) in Coke is particularly effective. You're welcome.
58
posted on
03/19/2004 10:38:22 AM PST
by
Argh
To: international american
59
posted on
03/19/2004 10:49:29 AM PST
by
Just another Joe
(FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
To: TheGrimReaper
60
posted on
03/19/2004 10:53:02 AM PST
by
Just another Joe
(FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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