[Don W]

SHE WAS SO BLONDE ........
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She thought General Motors was in the army.
She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
At the bottom of an application, where it says "sign here," she wrote
Sagittarius.

SHE WAS SOO BLONDE........
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

Under "education" on a job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

SHE WAS SOOO BLONDE.......
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice because it said
"concentrate."
She told me to meet her at the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."
She asked for a price check at the Everything For A Dollar Store.

SHE WAS SOOOO BLONDE.........
She studied for a blood test.
She sold her car for gas money.
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that read "Airport Left,"
she turned around and went home.

SHE WAS SOOOOO BLONDE........
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occurred around home, she
moved.
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

.....and finally
SHE WAS SOOOOOO BLONDE.......
She had a shirt that said TGIF, which she thought stood for 'This Goes
In Front'.

[lockjaw02]

DEGREES OF BLONDE

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitols. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."