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What the heck, I'm feeling tabloidish. Must be the lack of sleep. Anyway, I've checked out a NY gossip site called "gawker stalker," where New Yawkers send in celebrity sightings, and have been getting some chuckles from stuff like this:

Please note: by popular demand, Ian Klaus, paramour of Chelsea Clinton, is hereby banned from Gawker Stalker. ...

· just saw chelsea clinton wandering around the measly produce section at the 22nd and park avenue associated supermarket looking all sorts of dowdy and confused in her sidwell friends sweatshirt as she gazed at the red peppers. following her around was her greasy-haired boyfriend looking pretty smug as he saw me notice her. [Ed. HIS NAME MUST NOT BE SPOKEN. AND AVERT YOUR EYES.] ....

· "I just ate lunch at Angelika’s Kitchen and Senator John Kerry was there. He had bread with spread and some steamed vegetables and tofu. Took a fig bar to go. [What, no Philly cheesesteak?] ....

· "I sat next to Betsey Johnson (designer) at Pastis in the meat packing district. She was with two obvious sycophants who were drooling all over her, despite the fact that she looked beyond horrid in a multicolored coat that looked like a leprechaun had vomited on it. She had terrible hair with nylon-looking extensions and black raccoon eye makeup. Didn't smell great either." ....

· "8:45 am today saw Monica Lewinsky at the 26th St. flea market (she shops there fairly often). looks a hell of a lot better after the make-up and clothing people get through with her on mr. personality. either that or the director and camera people are doing a terrific job" ....

Here's another offering from a Gawker reader:

Maybe I'm not reading the sarcasm in your item about young Ms. Clinton, but all I know is that at the college I went to she once came for a weekend to visit her then-boyfriend. The [identity] of her boyfriend was interesting, because:

· He was a cokehead, and
· He was gay.

Yes, she was there; I saw her with my own two eyes, with the supposed boyfriend. At any rate, it raises a few interesting questions, doesn't it?

I saw a story about Chelz in the Gawker Stalker a few days ago but now I can't find it. It said that Chelz was walking into her office, her hair straight, business suit and looked so regular the Stalker almost didn't notice her.

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Kerry excited at win - bites Teresa's head off.

Oh my, I think we're gonna have fun with GAWKER-STALKER, lol.

Speaking of Chels, I must say that young lady can sure stretch a dollar...Her salary is "only" $135,000 (reportedly) yet she not only lives in a fancy Manhattan apartment with a uniformed doorman but now she is hiring a public relations firm to hype up her image? Too bad she doesn't read FR. We have offered her many tips in past on how to improve her image, i.e.

1. Do not ever wear bikinis in public. Even if you lose weight, you cannot change your shape.
2. Do not get rip-roaring drunk in public. If you do, no dancing on tabletops at bars.
3. Dump Ian and find a manly looking guy who does not resemble your "daddy".