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Here's a smile for you!

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs
one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the
sun.
He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for
dinner that evening, it costs him another buck. His room is only a buck a
day!
The day before he's to check out, he heads out to play a last round and
stops by the pro shop and charges a sleeve of three balls to his room. When
he's checking out next morning, he looks at the bill and sees:
>
>Golf: $1.00
>
>Dinner: $1.00
>
>Room: $1.00
>
>Sleeve of golf balls: $3,000.00
>
Calling over to the manager, he asks, "What is this all about?
Everything is supposed to cost one dollar, and you charged me three
thousand for three golf balls?"
>
"I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you didn't read the fine print in
our promotional brochure. That's what our golf balls cost."
>
"Well," said the man, "if I wanted to spend that kind of money, I could've
gone to that luxury hotel across the street and paid them a thousand dollars
a day for a room. At least I would've known what I was paying for !"
>
"That's right, sir, you could have," said the manager. "Over there they get
you by the room. Over here we get you by the balls!"

Since it's joke time, this is one of my favorites. However, it is PG-13/R borderline.

A penguin is driving around LA and pulls in to a gas station to refuel. The attendant tells him he is leaking oil all over the tarmac.

Penguin says, "good thing I'm already here, can you fix it?"

Attendant says "Sure, come back in about two hours."

Penguin takes off for a walk in the neighborhood. As it's summertime, it's hot as blazes out. Penguin goes in search of cold refreshment.

Spots an ice cream shop and purchases an entire half gallon of vanilla and a spoon.

Starts making his way back to the garage, all the while snarfing down his ice cream.

Arrives at the garage and asks the attendant what was wrong.

Attendant says, "Looks like you blew a seal".

The penguin (furiously wiping mouth) says, "No, no, it's just ice cream.!!!"