I sensed that was a problem, but thought you should state it before we could address it.
Acknowledging a problem is the first step in overcoming it. Only you know if it is worth the effort, and what the cost of winning the battle would be.
The first rule is no child, parent, or sibling should ever control what one does or doesn't do in relationships between a man and a woman.
The second rule is a firm belief in the Biblical concept of one flesh in marriage. Each half of the one flesh should have equal say and control in what ever effects them both. The admonition to reject parent and sibling control and cling to each other is the only way a marriage can work. In second marriages where adult children are involved, the concept of one flesh rejecting all others is the proper Biblical response of children trying to control a parent's relationship. The biblical approach to marriage is to not allow any external force to come between the marriage partners. Marriage should never be a legal contract. It should be the becoming of one flesh in the eyes of God.
The best matches are between opposites. A couple that share strengths will fight over control of those strengths. But opposites will tend to defer to their partners strengths and be quite proud of their partner. Partners should build up an account of positives for each other. Thus when a one of them stumbles as all do, it will only reduce the balance. When the account with a partner has a negative balance, divorce is not far away.
Single men being visual creatures always have an image of the ideal woman. They also have an image of the minimum they will accept. When those two images merge into one real-life woman, a man knows he had found the right choice.
The funny thing is these concepts were part of an effort to lay out the premises for writhing the perfect love song. They were conceived by me nearly forty five years ago. But I got it back wards. Writing about the perfect love does not sell. Writing about broken hearts and unhappiness makes for a hit love song.
I no longer crave to write the perfect love song. But in retrospect, it seems true that the best songs were written by looking inward. I tried to observe and look outward and failed.
But in some respects I am still a young warrior wanting to show his strength and power to win the heart of he pretty young damsel. I may never have grown up. Only the definition of what constitutes a pretty yong damsel has changed. I am getting old. Woman under fifty all look like daughters to me.