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I watch here, in the night and cold, and dark is what I see,
A quiet watch awaits me on the ramparts of the free,
The Movies and the Internet I watch distractedly,
for neither one can reach the unnamed hurt that's wracking me.
I steal outside to clear my head, my heart and soul and mind,
I see a winter sunset, unforgiving and unkind,
A frozen pond, an icy moon, and wood smoke on the wind,
and back inside to watch I go, deaf and willing blind.
There's silence in the corridors, and chaos in my heart,
The strife within so threatens me, to tear these things apart,
I seek the solace and relief, of words of craft and art,
but the dread approaches, hurting more with every shot and dart.
My fellow watchers with me do not know my building pain,
Silent in my anguish, but for the screaming in my brain,
Knuckles white upon my chair, cursing, being drained,
Oh, where does this pain come from, that I fight against in vain?
It's in the cache of pain we carry
from the day that I did marry
ere before that day it came
swelling in the veins and brain
tearing up a tiny heart
bruised and bloody from the start
a broken tiny little heart
Humans are born in pain
and some of it remains the same
for some of us all the days
it's hiding in the silent coves
and walks on shadowy high walls
where the Watch goes on
through darkest nights
and scares us to our very souls
in flight
things that scurry in the night
and crash and bang in our head
and wish to God I was dead.
Nay I lay and watch at night
the streets lights both dim and bright
and fireflies on the winds
and listen for the whirl of him
my lovely handsome Dragon Fly
on his back I do climb
with his mighty wings we scale
fantastic heights we do prevail
and love the wind in our hair
dipping gilding everywhere
just we two alone in flight
on moonlit star filled dreamy nights
With him there is no pain you see
I love him and he loves me.