Replies

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "To the kitchen." She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replies, "Sure."

She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that."

She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replies, "Well I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."

Subject: Andy Rooney has guts...

Finally, someone has the guts to tell it like it is.
You have to love this man. Is Andy Rooney the only
sane one left?
Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back:
(for those of you that don't know Andy Rooney, he is a 82
year old US TV commentator.)
I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big
houses and big campfires.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my
family, not some government stooge with a bad
comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts
for squirting out babies.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason,
that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong
in the Girl Scouts!
ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it
is not a phobia, it is an opinion. I don't think
being a minority makes you a victim of anything
except numbers.
The only things I can think of that are truly
discriminatory are things like the United Negro
College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment
Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have
things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud
Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss
White America; and see what happens. Jesse Jackson
will be knocking down your door.
I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others
because they are different, weird, or tick me off.
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in
cities where 70% off the population is black, that is
not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.
I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees
of it. If I received sex from one of my subordinates
in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my
personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!
I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a
pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you
must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you
want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!
My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you
can leave the countries you were born in to come over
and disrespect ours.
I think the police should have every right to shoot
your sorry self if you threaten them after they tell
you to stop. If you can't understand the word
"freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.
I feel much safer letting a machine with no political
affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what
the definition of lying is.
I don't think just because you were not born in this
country, you are qualified for any special loan
programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax
breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop,
trinket store, or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries
and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms,
so that decades later they could come over here and
tell us our constitution is a living document; and
open to their interpretations.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I
know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and
television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.
I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative
with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel
with an attitude.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every
penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks
you off, go and invent the next operating system
that's better, and put your name on the building.
Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.
It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child
right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the
kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary,
and say "NO!"
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want
them, but please don't pretend they are a political
statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip
ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly
infected mouth as you serve me French Fries!
I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of
black people, and not a single one of them was born in
Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"?
Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go
around saying I am a European-American because my
great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather
was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and
nowhere else.