[boris]

"After years of research around the world, Ion Scientists have determined"

Ion Scientists?

As a Rocket Scientist, I doubt the existence of this discipline.

--Boris

[BenLurkin]

Can't help it: It's the Full Moon!

[MayDay72]

Sheesh! Don't be silly! Everyone knows that the moon can't change your behavior...
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...At least if your tinfoil hat is properly adjusted!

[YankeeinOkieville]

Lists of side effects...are as follows:... stomach gas...

The dog is getting tired of being blamed.