To: SAMWolf
Can you believe its Thanksgiving already?
It seems like just yesterday when I finished stowing away the patio furniture and beach chairs. Okay, so it was just yesterday! Ive been busy. So sue me.
And once again its that time when all Americans gather together with their family and loved ones (the two groups often being mutually exclusive) to thank God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, their lucky stars, etc., for the many blessings which have been bestowed upon us over the past year.
As has become my custom, I have compiled a list of the things for which I am especially thankful this year, in the hope that they may spur you to think about the many blessings in your own life (rather than about the inevitable curses).
So here we go:
Im thankful that I didnt sign up to join the Taliban when they were looking for a few good men.
Im thankful that Regis Philbin isnt on every channel on my T.V.
Im thankful that I didnt put a whole lot more of my retirement money into those Internet stocks which looked so incredibly cheap at this time last year.
Im thankful that I dont have to wear Britney Spears bare-midriff wardrobe, given the gut Ive put on from sitting at my computer writing these columns.
Im thankful that the white powder I discovered on my mail a few weeks ago turned out to be just my mailmans cocaine.
Im thankful that I went for the Chevy instead of the BMW, long before I knew how flaccid the economy would be now.
Im thankful that I didnt peak too early in life (I hope).
Im thankful that I didnt land a high-paying job in the World Trade Center, and saddened that anybody else did.
Im thankful that Al Gore ended up with a four-year sabbatical from government service, if only so we dont have to hear about the Social Security lock box every ten minutes.
Im thankful that Im not that guy who got flattened like a pancake by a 350-pound defensive lineman on last weeks Monday Night Football telecast.
Im thankful that my parents decided to come to America and work their butts off, since I wouldnt be here (or anywhere else, for that matter) if they hadnt.
Im thankful that I wasnt given Michael Jacksons facial surgery by mistake during my last visit to the hospital.
Im thankful that somebody invented the computer, without which Id probably still be banging away on a typewriter at my college rate of about one double-spaced page every twenty minutes, with edits requiring another ten minutes of Liquid Paper application, blowing and retyping.
Im thankful that somebody invented the fax machine, but not when Im receiving junk faxes that use my paper and ink!
Im thankful that I have the time to sit down and realize how thankful I should be.
Im thankful that God hasnt taken my occasional (okay, frequent) bitching and moaning about the minor frustrations of daily life as a sign that Im not happy to be here.
Im thankful that my occasional fashion transgressions arent felonies punishable by prison or death by lethal injection.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Barry Rabin
117 posted on
11/26/2003 8:38:20 PM PST by
SAMWolf
(Everything was different before it changed.)
To: SAMWolf
LOL. You posted this one to yourself and I missed it first time around. This one is really good! These are my favorites from his list. Although the one about gore is good too;
Im thankful that I didnt peak too early in life (I hope).
Im thankful that I wasnt given Michael Jacksons facial surgery by mistake during my last visit to the hospital.
Im thankful that God hasnt taken my occasional (okay, frequent) bitching and moaning about the minor frustrations of daily life as a sign that Im not happy to be here.
119 posted on
11/26/2003 10:22:43 PM PST by
snippy_about_it
(Fall in --> The FReeper Foxhole. America's History. America's Soul.)
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