Christmas is approaching. What to give to beloved elderly? (vanity)

[Fizzie]

Just wanted to share an idea with you. My mother in law is 92, physically but not mentally infirm. She had always been diligent about sending cards to people for all occasions.

Last year, I realized she was beating herself up about not sending cards because she couldn't get out to buy them. So, one day, I went to a discount card shop, and bought around 50 cards. Son Birthday, Daughter Birthday, Graduation, Wedding, Sympathy, Get Well, etc. Plus a lot of generic cards. I packaged them all up, with a roll of stamps.

It was really fun shopping for the cards, and believe me, it was a hit of a gift!

Just a thought as the holidays approach. Our wise elders deserve gifts to bolster their dignity.

[biss5577]

I order table Christmas trees from LL Bean. They are delivered to their door the first week of December already decorated--they are a hit, also!!

[MamaB]

A neat idea. My mother is 99 and my daughter asked her the other day what she wanted for Christmas. Her reply was to get presents for the kids who do not have anything. She has everything she needs since she is in a nursing home in my hometown in MS. All of her kids, grandkids, greatgrandkids and greatgreatgrandkids keep her supplied with the goodies she wants.

[Iowa Granny]

I've been doing gift certificates for the Hair Dresser and the Housekeeper. It frees up some of her money for less essential things.

I think you can buy boxes of 'All Occasion' cards. Which is an assortment of B'day, Anniversary, Sympathy etc. I may throw that in, as well. Great idea. Thanx.

[VOA]

Give the gift of time spent with the beloved elderly.
When I read the book "Having Our Say" about the two African-American sisters who
wrote about their life-and-times out-living the Jim Crow era, I remember what
one of the sisters said about their elderly mother.
She said that when her mother was well advanced in years, their mother would just
ask them to be with her.
Seems like the "golden years" are sort of like the second childhood...
sometimes all you want is for the significant people in your life to spend time
giving simple companionship.

[PrincessB]

We did Blockbuster gift certificates for my grandparents for years. They loved it.

Also, we've gotten a toaster oven, smaller food processor/blender, and a smaller scale mixer for my grandmother. She appreciates the "downsized" appliances that sit on the counter and table. They aren't too heavy, don't take much space, she doesn't have to bend over, and she doesn't have to use as much gas/electricity to run them.

[Maigrey]

How about a gift of time and effort?

[Fizzie]

Well said, VOA. Time is our supposed most precious commodity, and we should allocate it to those most precious.

That said, any way we can offer the gift of independence while we are not there is a gift as well.

[VOA]

Fizzie, amen to your comment.
I was just bringing up the time factor...the passage in "Having Our Say" just
impressed me about this aspect of just spending time (even idle time) with a loved one...

[PrincessB]

Guess how we found out about the appliances? Some one visits my grandmother at least once a week. Through these visits we found out that she wanted to keep cooking for herself but hated turning on the oven, etc. We asked her if there is something she would like that would make daily life easier and that is what we put under the tree.

I agree, though, Visiting is the best gift.

[Fizzie]

What a wonderful mother you have! Can the kids give her a scrapbook or something to show what they gave? That would be a great gift, considering she suggested the concept.

[Route66]

Great idea. My inlaws are elderly but can still get out of the house. They live on a fixed income and finding money for extras like a special meal out is difficult. We always provide them with gift certificates to some of their favorite restaurants for Christmas, birthdays, their anniversary...all occassions. They can go out to eat on us all throughout the year.

They live in another state, but I go to the chain restaurants in my area which also have locations in their area to buy the certificates and I rotate through the different restaurants available each time I send some to give them variety. I know they really appreciate it and I never have to worry about what to send or whether or not it will be used.

[Fizzie]

Great idea. Can I send you my address so I get a pre-decorated tree also?

Actually, one of the best parts of Christmas is decorating the tree. Maybe that's another good gift... decorating the tree together. And taking it down in January. The gift of time and tradition!

[MamaB]

I never thought about that! What a clever idea! My mother is the best. She will be 100 in April. She has a younger sister who is in her 80's. Everyone else is gone. I do genealogy and there are a lot of my ancestors who lived til they were in their 90's. She always had a garden and kept the family supplied with fresh vegetables and fruit. She had the best plum trees. Delicious! They too have died. What a life she has had!

[Guenevere]

My parents are quite elderly, and mom has Alzheimers....
..just to get out of the house, and because mom loves 'fast food'...they eat a meal out almost every day, even if it's just a hamburger.

So we all (included grandkids) give them 'gift certificates' to their favorite eateries.

It helps stretch their limited income too.

[biss5577]

I agree, but since my mother in law has parkinson's, decorating is impossible--this is a great solution!!

[barker]

How about a gift of time and effort?

My mother has everything she needs or wants. Last Christmas my present to her was handrails for her basement stairs that didn't have any. My brother gave her some touchlights that run on batteries so if her power goes out she can put them by different doors to find her way around.

This year I've been listening to the little things she mentions. Like the closet door that sticks and won't close completely. Or her stove isn't level anymore.

Will put these ideas into a hat and we'll all draw one and see that it gets done.

She doesn't drive much anymore. This summer untill I started a different job every Friday was "Point and Drive" day. I would drive and she would just tell me which direction to go.