[lodwick]

THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 40!

1. Kidnappers are not interested in you

2. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

3. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

4. You can live without sex but not without your glasses.

5. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize.

6. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

7. You sing along with elevator music.

8. Your health plan is beginning to pay off.

9. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.

10. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them

either.

11. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

[lodwick]

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're it.

2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red rover, Red rover, the nurse says bend over.

6. Doc Goose.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Hide and go Pee.

9. Spin the bottle of Mylanta

10. Musical recliners.


SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE.

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you
to heat the family room this winter.

3. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.

4. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

5. You change your underwear after every sneeze.

6. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field
trip to "Chippendales".