Pillar 1: Orient body Eastward toward Mecca
Pillar 2: Extend both arms outward
Pillar 3: Raise middle fingers
Pillar 4: Mutter ancient and meaningful ephithets
Pillar 5: Grab crotch and sneer at Mohammad's legacy
Pillar 6: Recheck all personal firearms
Pillar 7: Say a prayer of thanks for our troops