Posted on 10/26/2026 10:36:15 AM PDT by DFG
BRASILIA — After a late-night ballot dump and several emergency court rulings, Joe Biden was declared the surprise winner of Brazil's presidential election, securing 81 million votes.
Brazilians were left in disbelief by the result as Joe Biden did not run for President of Brazil, wasn't on the ballot, and is probably dead.
"I don't want to come off as an election denier, but I can't help but feel like there's something fishy here," said local man Miguel Santos. "There were only two choices on the ballot, and neither one was Joe Biden. In the latest polls, Bolsonaro was leading by a comfortable margin and Biden had zero support, because he didn't run for President of Brazil. It's just a little hard to imagine that this is a legitimate result."
Biden has vehemently denied any foul play, stating that the elections in Brazil are completely secure. "I won fair and square, Jack! Or José, or whatever kind of names they have in Brazil," said Biden. "We beat Medicare, and now we've beaten Brazil. Tough guys, the Brazilians, but they always loved my smooth legs. Jiu Jitsu! I'm brushing up on my Spanish for the swearing in ceremony. See you soon, amigos!"
At publishing time, Brazilians who had questioned the election result were arrested and placed in solitary confinement.
Dear FRiends,
We need your continuing support to keep FR funded. Your donations are our sole source of funding. No sugar daddies, no advertisers, no paid memberships, no commercial sales, no gimmicks, no tax subsidies. No spam, no pop-ups, no ad trackers.
If you enjoy using FR and agree it's a worthwhile endeavor, please consider making a contribution today:
Click here: to donate by Credit Card
Or here: to donate by PayPal
Or by mail to: Free Republic, LLC - PO Box 9771 - Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you very much and God bless you,
Jim
The Bee is incredibly funny!
Anybody who claims Droolin’ Joe didn’t win is a threat to Our Democracy! Count every vote, even the fake ones!
While Joe was running for president, he would ask voters to elect him to the Senate.
Joe Biden wins Brazilian presidency........?
Frankly, I had no idea he could speak Portuguese that well...../s.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.