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World Leaders Line Up To Ask Trump To Bomb Their Countries For A While And Then Give Them A Few Hundred Billion
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/18/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/18/2026 2:33:48 PM PDT by DFG

WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump's incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country for a few weeks and then give them $300 billion.

Sources within the White House reported days of jammed phone lines as countries from Mali to Uruguay repeatedly called to see if their country could be next.

"Pick me, pick me," said Chilean President Jose Kast. "We are more than happy to hide out for a couple weeks in exchange for $300 billion. How do we get to the top of the list? Do we need to give some cash to terrorists? Threaten to uncork a nuke? We can make it happen."

Several nations had taken additional steps to help improve the chances of their application being selected as the next nation up. "Please, sir. We've prepared a list of targets that are available for bombing at your convenience," said a Balkan diplomat. "We won't even shoot back at your airplanes, they'll be safe as can be. Come and get us. Please."

Though a few nations reportedly passed on the generous offer, the overwhelming majority of the world's countries were working to secure this once-in-a-lifetime plan. "We've tried economic reform, trade liberalization, and attracting foreign investment," said one Eastern European prime minister. "Frankly, it seems much easier to just get bombed by America and wait for the check to clear."

At publishing time, the White House had worked to streamline the process by creating an official application for countries to request to be bombed.


TOPICS: Humor
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1 posted on 06/18/2026 2:33:48 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

2 posted on 06/18/2026 2:39:36 PM PDT by mikey_hates_everything
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To: DFG

If you truly believe that Trump is secretly on the Russia/China/Iran side, it could make a lot of sense what has happened so far.

I don’t personally think that, I think he’s just misjudged these wars because he’s not a student of war, but of business.


3 posted on 06/18/2026 2:39:59 PM PDT by Golden Eagle (Don’t let conservatism die, especially not for the sake of crony capitalist power)
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To: mikey_hates_everything

If you have the Q bomb you are safe from being attacked. But that’s the same as the rules for nuclear bombs.


4 posted on 06/18/2026 3:27:34 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If the Islamic Republic government is in power in Iran when the war is over, we will have lost.)
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To: DFG

WE are NOT giving them the money. The Gulf States are.


5 posted on 06/18/2026 3:49:38 PM PDT by madison10
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To: DFG

300 billion could completely rebuild 300 mid-size US cities


6 posted on 06/18/2026 4:07:31 PM PDT by TexasFreeper2009
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To: TexasFreeper2009
300 billion could completely rebuild 300 mid-size US cities

If that's what $300 billion could do, imagine what we could have done with that Trillions with a T that we've given to Israel over the decades.

7 posted on 06/18/2026 4:25:14 PM PDT by Angelino97
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