Posted on 07/14/2025 2:08:38 PM PDT by DFG
Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota, where some of the nation's nuclear arsenal is stored and the bombers capable of delivering it are stationed, is facing a threat the military may not be equipped to defeat.
Squirrels.
Yes, squirrels.
Minot AFB is under siege by thousands of Richardson Ground Squirrels, a.k.a. "Dakrats."
The ground squirrels have been a problem for the base for years, mostly because the base tries to keep the animal's natural predators out. The foxes, coyotes, and badgers stay outside the fence, while the Air Force's BASH team scares off the hawks and eagles to minimize bird strikes during takeoff and landing.
This means the squirrels inside the base perimeter reproduce like crazy.
Their burrowing undermines infrastructure like runways and buildings, resulting in lots of taxpayer money spent on repairs. The furry invaders can also carry fun diseases like bubonic plague.
Leadership at the base announced a new plan for clearing out the threat.
Using traps to remove the squirrels is pretty much the same strategy they've used for decades. There are poisons that can kill them, but no legal poisons that wouldn't also kill people.
They could hunt them, but can you imagine the panic and/or accidents that might ensue with a bunch of people firing rifles everywhere on a military base.
Airman 1st Class Josh W. Strickland wrote in 2019: 'One lone intruder. No problem. Ten thousand intruders is a different story entirely, especially when they are rodents.'
The good news?
If worse comes to worst, Minot AFB does have one option readily available to defeat the squirrels once and for all.
It houses 26 B-52 bombers capable of carrying nuclear weapons and 150 Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles.
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Cooks attend squirl preparation class!
I see what you did there.
I saw a news featurette about a guy who spends his life training squirrels to do tricks like riding a little surfboard. And doing various boating tricks with a life jacket and helmet.
He said one day after his training sessions were mostly done he felt lazy and knocked off for the day.
He said the squirrel looked over at him like he was crazy and acted like he knew the time was too short. Guy felt like he knew the man was being lazy.
Phosphine pellets down the squirrel holes does a great job of depleting the population and since they die underground, there’s little, if any, risk of off target secondary poisoning. Certainly the Base’s pest control unit knows of this method.
I had forgotten all about the problem of wire damage in vehicles until last month I started hearing ads for a car rust proofing system that includes protection against rodents chewing cables and wires.
Photo of hat wearing desperado....
“Where the hell is Major Kong?”
Effective, but pricey!
Just so long as the squirrels don’t run up their inside pant legs looking for nuts.
Just like foxes and raccoons would.
They could get those plug in things that send out a sound humans can’t hear but apparently drives animals crazy and away.
Lol! Love it.
I had a mutt that would go right up a tree after the bushy tailed rats. She would catch them, give a sharp jerk to break the neck and come back down to present me with their bodies. No, I did not teach her that.
Photo....
Here is his poem.
High Flight
By John Gillespie Magee Jr.
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
of sun-split clouds,—and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of—wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence.
Hov’ring there,
I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air ....
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew—
And, while with silent lifting mind I’ve trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
Photo.....
And remember, 10% of your tax deductible purchase of a Squirrelanator will go to the I Won’t Be Back Charity on behalf of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s retirement.
If they want Nuts they should go to DC
Ah. I get it...these are more akin to prairie dogs and less like the common gray squirrels I encounter.
If they burrow, that’s bad, and they should be eradicated in that area, at the very least on the base.
RE: These are not the typical tree squirrels you are thinking about.
Bullwinkle: I never thought of you as typical, Rocky.
Rocky: Thanks. I am a flying squirrel. We’re elite.
RE: All personnel report for small arms training....
Airman: Does that include my pal Kenny? He’s got the shortest arms on the base when the waitress arrives with the check.
The friggin squirrels become a nuclear power.
“Nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
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