Posted on 01/17/2023 10:58:35 AM PST by John Semmens
At a meeting of the heads of Canada, the United States, and Mexico in Mexico City this week, Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador expressed his gratitude to President Biden for keeping his promise to discontinue the border wall construction started by his predecessor.
"An estimated 40 million Mexicans now live north of where the border used to be," Obrador said. "In a few more decades Mexicans will constitute a majority of the citizens living in the territories violently stolen from us by their President Polk in 1848. They will vote to be peacefully reunited with their ancestral home. The people of Mexico are very grateful for the role President Biden is playing in making this happen."
The amiable, but addled Biden gleefully soaked up this praise, saying "we're trying the best we can to make it easier for people to get here – opening up the capacity to get here, offering financial inducements like free health care, free schooling, free housing, and free walking around money. America is a nation of immigrants. So it stands to reason that the more immigrants we have, the more American we become."
Biden went on to "hail the aid and comfort these newcomers from the south are enjoying in New York City. Through the generosity of our taxpayers they are living in $500 a night hotels, getting drunk, and having sex everyday. We hope these reparations for our invasion of Mexico in 1846 will earn us forgiveness from the descendants of the Mexicans we killed and robbed so long ago."
Not every American is as enthusiastic as their President about spending taxes to debauch these illegal border crossers. Rep. Pat Fallon (R-Texas) has filed impeachment articles against Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas on the grounds that "his failure to secure our southern border threatens the safety and security of the American people. Among the hordes of impoverished Mexicans flowing into our country are dangerous drugs, armed criminals, and foreign terrorists. The enormity of his dereliction of duty shows he is unfit to hold the office of Secretary of Homeland Security."
Mayorkas mocked the idea of his impeachment, calling it "an exercise in futility. Suppose the House votes to impeach me. There's no real chance that the Senate will convict. Even if in a bizarre twist of fate I were convicted, President Biden would simply nominate someone else to carry out the policies he was elected by the voters to implement. The GOP might as well save themselves the trouble and effort. They should just relax and accept the fact that they're going to get screwed regardless of what they do. The borders will remain open as long as Democrats control the executive branch."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,489331.0.html
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