Al Michaels Jokes About What the Washington Commanders' Nickname Might Be

Sports Illustrated ^ | 2/2/2022 | Andrew Gastelum

[untenured]

Al Michaels, whose work I have always enjoyed, may have stolen “Washington Commies” from former Freeper and continuously hysterical person Iowahawk ()https://mobile.twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/1488893518269530112.).

[jz638]

The lazy generic name that is easily mockable is only part of the story. The two year search that cost millions of dollars and involved dozens of “experts” and thousands of people being surveyed repeatedly and then ending up with a name and logo that could have come from a generic video game with multiple obvious flaws ripe for mockery is more of a story and the more they tell the story, the more likely this whole thing is going to end up in b-school textbooks in the future as a gigantic business failure.

If I were on the team’s marketing department, I’d lean heavy into the “Commies” gimmick (if only to avoid the alternative “C-men” nickname from sticking). They could have a group of caricatured communist mascots (Carl, Joe, and Lenny) with oversized beards and mustaches running around after fans trying to get food at the concession stands and then getting comically foiled in their plots like Wiley Coyote, maybe even having the hero of the foiled plots be a patriotic warthog as a callback to the old days when DC was actually a football town. But nah, that would take creativity, and if it took two years and millions of dollars to land on “Commanders”, creativity ain’t the team’s strong point.

[glorgau]

The Fort Wayne, IN minor league team is called the Tin Caps (in honor of Johnny Appleseed who is buried in the town). It quickly became the pot heads.

[griswold3]

Perfect description for DC residents!

[Liaison]

More like the commandos, with or without the underwear. Do they turn it around when used?

[Liaison]

Or will the cheerleaders be called the comman-does.

[Dr. Franklin]

Al Michaels, whose work I have always enjoyed, may have stolen “Washington Commies” from former Freeper and continuously hysterical person Iowahawk ()https://mobile.twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/1488893518269530112.).

Has it occurred to you that Al Michaels is, in fact, Iowahawk?

Al, if that's you, I am not trying to blow your cover here, but we need to consider the matter logically.

[Old Yeller]

They screwed up. Now it’s time to shame them into changing the stupid name again.

[nicksaunt]

I have adored Al Michaels since he broadcasted San Francisco Giants games along with Lon Simmons in 1974. Michaels was only with the Giants for a couple of years, he was so smart and a terrific announcer. And being a handsome young man at that time didn’t hurt in the least.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

“...former U.S. senator Joseph McCarthy’s worst nightmare, there are indeed “Commies” in the nation’s capital.”

Author Gastelum is ignorant and out of touch.

[HonkyTonkMan]

Sports teams are infamous for nicknames, handles, shortened names, initials. The ‘Skins, Niners, The ‘Boys, Bucs, Pats, etc. The fact the “branding experts” missed this is hilarious.

[Dr. Franklin]

If I were on the team’s marketing department, I’d lean heavy into the “Commies” gimmick (if only to avoid the alternative “C-men” nickname from sticking). They could have a group of caricatured communist mascots (Carl, Joe, and Lenny) with oversized beards and mustaches running around after fans trying to get food at the concession stands and then getting comically foiled in their plots like Wiley Coyote, maybe even having the hero of the foiled plots be a patriotic warthog as a callback to the old days when DC was actually a football town. But nah, that would take creativity, and if it took two years and millions of dollars to land on “Commanders”, creativity ain’t the team’s strong point.

As a promo for the communist lifestyle, they could have free toilet paper give aways and make those who want that freebie to stand in long lines. Now, commie TP wasn't squeezably soft like Charmin. It was a shorter roll of the rough brown paper towels formerly found in rest rooms. You could call it John Wayne TP because it was tough as nails and took sh--t off of no one. The front office can make sure everyone relives the old days back in the USSR!

[gundog]

Wow. Good thing the team colors aren’t....never mind.

[dforest]

Commies works well for this team.

[SaxxonWoods]

Commie Chameleons.

with apologies to Boy George

[kvanbrunt2]

I don’t understand what is wrong with a football team being named after a small red potato.

[GreyFriar]

Babylon Bee recommend that the team’s mascot being LTC (Brevet MG) George A. Custer. I was thinking that Georgy Konstantinovich Zhukov, who was a Soviet general and Marshal of the Soviet Union, would be a better choice for the Washington Commies.

[Adder]

Maybe it was deliberate...KNOWING what the obvious nick would be...

[DennisR]

He is. He was friends with El Rushbo.

[joshua c]

There are Commies in DC but they aint playin football