Here’s a Vlad the Impaler story.
A traveling merchant once visited Vlad’s capital. He had with him a chest of gold coins. While he was sleeping at an inn, someone broke into his room and stole the chest. Vlad was informed of this. The thief was quickly caught, and the chest was returned to the merchant.
The merchant was invited to join Vlad and witness the thief’s execution. As was normal, the thief was to be executed by being impaled on a spike.
As the thief was dying on the spike, this conversation took place:
Vlad: Merchant, please count the number of coins in your chest. I will make good any loss.
Merchant: I have already done that, sir. All my coins are there, plus one more. By the way, I see two spikes there. Will there be another execution today?
Vlad: Had you not reported that extra coin, the second spike was for you.
Great story. We need a Deep State Impaler.